Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for January 22, 2019

Who’s the seven-footer?

“That’s right, six points. But lose by anything more in our next game, and somebody might take it too hard. Commit ten turnovers and I’ll be on the ledge with you, about to help you with a push,” snarked Coach Thorp.

And if you have homework put that in your brains, oh and those new inbounds plays and zone D we went over at practice, just stuff that all up in your brains too. Hope it’s not getting too crowded up the amirite?

Too damn funny

I thought Gil was talking about the chess club tryouts.

P1, Just a reminder, guys. Don’t believe what every poster on the comment board says about my missing kids. Never had ’em, never will!

P2, Are you planning on killing yourself since you haven’t come close to a state championship again in years, Coach?

P3, Howdy Doody fails to grasp the concept.

O.K., give Mike Filion a rimshot for P3. The suicide hotline PSA makes today’s comic significant. Sometime in our lives, we will be affected by the loss of a loved one or friend from suicide.

You lost your third game, by six points, and you’re not suicidal? Give me 20 laps! And run 10 suicides

Gil’s taking this billboard thing just a little too hard. He’s been dialing all night. DON’T DO IT COACH!

Gil! You’ve got it backwards! “Put it in your brains?” The Suicide Hotline is for talking people out of suicide, not for giving directions!!!

Is this the first time I’ve actually laughed unironically at Gil Thorp?

…is Gil reminding the lads because he is leading them into an extended shower practice? I understand he starts things out with a scrum for possession of the loofah…

In all reality (to coin a popular phrase), would a kid instantly start typing that number into their phone? No. They’d just ignore him, “I don’t need it.”

On the other hand, if they did enter it immediately, then Gil should take note and schedule them for therapy sessions. And not the loofah therapy kind.

Maybe they just realized “That 70’s Show” is not a new program.

Lack of playing time is hard on you

This is one day too late for “Overreaction Monday”.

“That poster outside the main office is there for a reason. It covers up a crack in the plaster. But if you do start feeling depressed, then call up Robby Howry and ask for some uppers. His number is on a billboard outside of town.”

As long as it doesn’t cover up the shower schedule …

Fillion is a Bears fan and he’s still in a funk over that missed/blocked kick at the end of the Eagles game.

1983-4 Playoffs – Lions beat the 49ers if Eddie Murray hits a 43-yard field goal with 5 seconds left. He had hit a 54-yarder earlier in the game and was pretty reliable. Pushed it a couple feet outside the post. It wasn’t the Super Bowl, but considering how rarely the Lions win a playoff game (or even qualify) it was a gut punch.

I might need that number after reading this strip…

I remember the Luke’s depression story line. It was one of the extremely rare times Marty Moon was something resembling a human being when he looked Steve Wilcox in the eye and said, “Steve, you stink.”