Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 13, 2019

pobresito pig

I can hardly imagine this conversation with a rabbi… a rabbi named Rick.

Father Gus has strong theological reasoning in panel 2. And I have known many Jews (though not Muslims) who make the bacon exemption. I mean, it is so good!

Like PIG

The phrase “long pig” comes to mind, for some reason…

When it comes to the topic of pigs, Father Gus is hamfisted.

Reminds me of a joke.

A priest and a rabbi are having lunch together, and the priest asks “So you’ve never tasted pork?”

The rabbit says “That’s right. But tell me, have you never had sexual relations with a woman?”

The priest replies “That’s correct.”

The rabbi says “You should try it. It’s better than pork!”

Any “good” Christian will tell you which words of Jesus he chooses to follow, and which of the Ten Commandments he thinks important to go with. Same with many faiths. We live according to our needs, real or perceived. We’re funny. And so is Pig!

Pastis is getting a little self-referential these days.

Father Gus is a gas.

I am reminded of Father Guido Sarducci…

If God didn’t want us to eat animals why did He make them out of meat?

It’s been said, but bears repetition:

The height of a piggy’s ambition

From the day he is born

Is the hope that he’ll be good enough

To be a Frosty Morn

Father is about to ask pig to come to the church pot luck dinner.

Why do we have canine teeth if not to eat meat ? Only one stomach also. ……..Croc Power !

Believe me, Pig, you don’t want to know.

Stephan is bacon to be obsolete.

All animals are god’s creatures???? Have you read a bible lately? “I’m god and I command thy. If you misbehave, burn (actually it’s BBQ in old Aramaic :D) me a goat. No goat? get me a dove, anything! make it meat! Chicken burgers, nuggets, sausages, anything!!!! Cain brought to me the best of his orchard but Abel’s ribs were excellent. I liked him a lot better.” In the end, Cain was doomed for being a vegetarian :D

Having been raised on a farm with pigs, a pig will eat a pig.

Pig DNA is identical to human DNA, which explains why people are so piggy about eating them.

See Genesis 9.

Glob wants every creature to eat other creatures, except for vegetation, which eats dirt, air, and sunshine. Water, air and sunshine if aquatic. Or water, dirt and thermal vent energy, if they are weirdos.

Old religious laws were there for a reason. When it comes to pork, they knew it made some people sick without knowing why. (Trichonosis(sp?) I read somewhere the eskimos could taste if the polar bear had ben infected and would spit out the meat.

So Pig likes pulled pork as well as BLTs… hummm…

Emerson said it best—a foolish consistency (In Father Gus’ thinking) is the hobgoblin of little minds.

To quote Ron White: I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots!

Latest research, bacon will kill you. No bacon is a living death.

Remember: Pig likes bacon!

“Well, aren’t we feeling all righteous and holy about our little pious selves!” With Warm Regards, the Church Lady.

Learning his purpose in life was a sad revelation for Wilbur

Per the Bible, Christians are free to eat anything they like. (Acts 10:11) Including pork.

Pig’s love of bacon reminds me of Spider-Ham.

RUN FOR THE HILLS, PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As a priest, I distance myself from Fr. Gus’s theological position. I consider myself a “second-hand vegetarian.” That is, cows eat grass, and I eat cows.

Vegetarians are cowards. They only eat food that cannot possibly fight back.

We were to be stewards of the Earth and the animals…we have failed both miserably. : (

It’s kosher bacon. It came from a circumcised pig.

You all realize that the real humor here is how Pastis is jerking your chains?

MMMM…Bacon.

We are carnivores. All meat is good, especially when charbroiled.

Assuming it was made under proper rabbinical supervision turkey bacon & turkey sausage would be kosher, wouldn’t it?

I’m not going to address tofu bacon or sausage, that is clearly detestable & an abomination!

Oh for heaven’s sake. Dietary restrictions on what you eat rarely have anything to do with how religious somebody is. Many of the worst people on earth have adhered to all sorts of religious traditions and while committing crimes against humanity.

The Jewish ban on pork was for health reasons. Way back then, our forefathers (probably at the urging of our foremothers who never got any credit) decided it would take a religious edict to get people to alter their eating habits so they wouldn’t kill themselves — they didn’t yet realize that adequate cooking eliminated the health risk from raw pork. But today, religious bans on eating pork are pretty much arbitrary and capricious since we know that pork needs to be adequately cooked before being eaten and hands need to be washed thoroughly after handling the raw meat. Sadly some of these religious “traditions” for which there is no good reason to continue have remained in place, especially among Conservative and Orthodox Jewish people. Same with more extreme Muslims and more extreme Christians.

To paraphrase Christ “it doesn’t what goes into your mouth, but what comes out”

Fr. Gus’s theology may be, to say the least, suspect. But no one can argue with his taste! There can be no such heretic. Bacon is supreme!

The man makes a solid point there

Praise the Lord and pass the ham sandwich!

The first monotheist almost sacrificed his own kid – then switched to a conveniently-located ram. “God” wants BLOOD ! Makes sense, actually – we all need high quality protein .

Ooh, I am so tempted to get into a theological discussion here… But I am so impressed by the wonderful phrase, “doomed little bacon machines” that I think I’ll leave it at that.

Noting that Pig has been known to enjoy eating ham, pork or bacon on occasion.

“Hey what’s that smell? It’s pig meat! Yum” said the pig

I’ve never eaten bacon. I’m worried that if I ever do, I won’t be able to go back! The smell of cooking meat grosses me out anyway.