Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 05, 2019

How about, “people whose crotches don’t hurt”?

I guess : who are worse Sunday cyclists or lawyers ?

yeah, I’d skip the salutation as well

Pig is offering some good advice – skip the salutation, the message in its entirety – skip the community and the state.

Jef: Go directly to Crocs; do not pass go, do not collect $200.

“Pigs, Lardos and Countrymen…”

Jef needs a laxative to clear his head.

I’m sure the public will appreciate the ‘tough love’ approach!

If Jef gives the speech with that kind of salutation, the “lardos” will rise up and sit on him.;-D

“Vote for Jef; he tells it like it is!”

What a completely condescending conceited kook!

Jeff Mallett is running for mayor? Where’s that?

Jef is totally going to win, isn’t he?

Is this that UK mayor?

Same comment as yesterday…….. Croc Power !

Wait—-Pig is the voice of reason here?!

i bet he gets elected…

It’s good to see Jef mindful of his future constituents’ feelings.

This country needs more bicycle lanes. It is crazy to crest a two lane country road doing the speed limit of say 50 and there is a car in the other lane and directly in front of you are a couple of bicycles doing 10 – 15 mph or slower!

Bicyclists should not have the right of the road like a vehicle. The speed differential is too great; they don’t have to have a license (my step father had one for his bicycle in Birmingham Alabama back around 1910); and they don’t have to have lights, horn, etc safety features of a car. You might as well let people walk in the middle of the road.

Besides that, look at cities like NYC where they weave in and out of traffic with no regards to the law. They want to be a legal vehicle with the rights of a vehicle BUT they want NONE of the responsibilities. Weave in and out, cross against the light like they are a pedestrian. Make up your mind, either you are or are not a vehicle with rights and responsibilities.

The London Mayor is the one sparring with trump over tweets…

It’s always good to lead with a joke. That’s why their letting Jef the cyclist start the debate.

How many people rant about cyclists because they’re jealous? I’ll be 64 soon and I weigh 40 pounds less than I did when I graduated high school.

Jeff, the “clueless cyclist” for Mayor! ;o}

I LOVE this arc :)

I think Goat instead of Pig should be in this one

Why vote for Jef, his parents already told him to “f off”.

Pig, thank you for using common sense.

Just slip something in there about how you love the unmotivated and fat. They’ll support you without question, regardless of what you say about or do to them afterward.

Pig’s heart is always in the right place, which is why we love him. He is willing to help anyone. Now, is it just me or does Jef look a bit pudgy in the lat panel????

Here in Oregon, there’s a thriving bicycle culture. And there are assterisks much like this guy who just sort of assume that the rest of us have no good reason to spend two hours on a commute that I can do in 20 minutes… shop where the stores carry what I need/want… and who are happy to occupy a full lane (the only one going this direction) going at their preferred speed and pulling a tail of dozens or more vehicles. And who throw a finger if you pass them “too close.”

On the other hand, we do have quite a good network of bike lanes in some towns… paid for by taxes on all of us. My own thought is that as soon as the bicyclists start paying an alternative minimum gasoline tax, we should spend that money on more, safer bike lanes. Preferably not even near automotive routes.

Reading all these comments about cars and trucks driving around obeying all the traffic laws I find it funny. I ride a motorcycle and my system for staying alive on the road is to assume that EVERY driver is an idiot and will do something stupid when I least expect it.

Jef the Cyclist is a Spandex-wearing loser! Don’t even try to help him, Pig, or we’ll lose respect for you….

The Tour de France as a Master Race.

Doesn’t matter if it is a cyclist or anything! My farm on a secondary road, I got hit by a woman in a minivan. I was driving a tractor that is 9’6" wide and 10’ tall. Weighs about 20,000 lbs. She said she didn’t see me.

Every car should have a cow catcher for the cyclists.

I feel like Jeff The Cyclist is like A Pimp Named Slickback; you’ve gotta say the whole thing.