Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for June 20, 2019

I hope this guy is a real estate lawyer or a loan officer.

He worked in an escrow office.

I’d sleep better with the paperwork.

just jump off!

“I forgot to tell you, it’s written in Esperanto.”

Least popular holodeck program on Star Trek Deep Space Nine: “A day at the DMV with Dr Bashir”.

And of course the coin has 2 heads or 2 tails. No matter what your do, you lose.

And for particularly bad sinners, Help Desk. People are pissed before they call you and you are not responsible for their issue.

Fine. I’ll start going to church again.

I don’t like extreme heat or cold so it’s paperwork for me

or……..watch nothing but cable news.

It’s easy: this one is a CYA for the agent, this is a CYA for the broker, this is a CYA … and this single sheet of paper transfers the legal title.

Take the Freeze, quickly knock some holes in the wall to the Burn and Voila! a moderate climate…just don’t let in anyone from the fossil fuel industry.

That’s an easy choice.

This is so close to what I said after dealing with my mom’s insurance paperwork for years! LOL

the old joke of time to go back standing on your heads coffee break’s over

Back in the 80’s I did real estate closings for about five years. If you haven’t worked on this stuff you have no idea boring anything can be. I realized I had reaching my breaking point at a closing that went on and on after five o’clock on a Friday while buyers and sellers argued over a pile of half-rotten fireplace wood worth maybe $20. Sellers wanted buyers to pay them $20 for the wood. Buyers wanted sellers to remove the wood from the property.

Finally I found myself slamming the table with the palm of my hand. Looking the brokers in the eye, I said something like “It’s after 5 on a Friday and I want to go home. Who has $20 for the sellers and a truck to haul the wood away to save this deal?” After a few seconds of awkward silence the brokers rose to the occasion.

Both buyers and sellers looked triumphant. The brokers didn’t speak to me again for a long, long time.

I used to live in Winnipeg. I once rode a motorcycle all the way around Australia during the southern summer. Neither of the first two choices holds any terrors for me.

How insulting. Attorneys were paid good money to write that drivel.

Most people really don’t get it: True Hell starts long before death. It entails sitting in some random Church every Sunday morning listening to some brain-damaged preacher twist scripture to his own interpretation while hypnotizing you into transferring money from your pocket to his. And like the comic shows— you can attend the hell of your choice! :D

Is the motto on the coin, “In Satan We Trust”?

Paperwork – now, if it had been “Fill out real estate paperwork”, then it gets more painful

What about the choice of a room full of people learning to play banjos & bagpipes? By the way, Eddy Peabody was quite accomplished on both of these instruments!

Hot and cold running souls.

I do not like temperature extremes, so I would take the paperwork; it is the best way to become a mindless zombie. Now as for the ones that created the paperwork……….

Or read the terms and conditions from websites and determine what’s changed from the prior versions.

But I forgot to tell you: The cold and paperwork open into the same room.

Relax. Eternity isn’t as long as it used to be.

The only time I had more paperwork to read than real estate was entering and exiting the military.

A Laura Nyro song just came into my head. Can anyone guess which one? {Oh, could we add a 4th door? Standing in line at the DMV for hours, only to find you have the wrong paperwork, forever.}

If you actually read The Inferno (translated, I presume) you find that the various sins are punished in various appropriate ways. And that “choice” isn’t a big part of the equation.

He left a space for a 4th option: arrow pointing down to the Never ending Abyss !

What the heck did he do to get punished for eternity?

Ah, decisions, decisions …