Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 03, 2019

Pig should take up French.

Or get a rodent drunk: Lit mouse. Or a really big herbivore: Lit moose. Or start questioning a dessert under the bright lights? Lit mousse. Or accidentally randomize the pages of your study of novels: Lit mess.

(I’ve got hundreds…)

… spoonerize a random dog who’s tilting to the left: Mutt list.

And even though Sluggo is lit, he doesn’t have any hair to speak of.

https://www.insider.com/weird-english-language-rules-2019-1

Pig go see Larry Croc for he knows all about English ;-) …. Croc Power !

Pig should get full marks for trying.

It’s a hard language to learn.

Just do what Crock do, Pig. He don’t care no Engleesh.

This one’s a stretch, even for Pastis.

…then dip him in a suspected acid.

This will be funnier after you are lit, try rereading it after happy hour.

“…see what happens.” He gets mad that you mussed up his hair.

Pig looks like Danny Donkey in the drawing.

Pastis is LIT and MUS stop with these jokes.

Oy vey! what a kevetch!

Ok, Pastis, beat this one:

What have you done if you set fire to a Ovibos moschatus to see what happens?

At least the French didn’t lose two letters from their alphabet like the Spanish did. https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1994-04-30-mn-52183-story.html

Pig should take Spanish. It is the real language of love.

Covfefe!

Don’t know about hard, but it is weird. https://aeon.co/essays/why-is-english-so-weirdly-different-from-other-languages

Judging by today’s material; I’m guessing there are no more puns left in the entire world?

Looks like our choice of POTUS is also failing the litmus test.

The question is poorly written because “litmus test” can be literal or figurative. I’m guessing figurative since this is a vocabulary, not a science, test.

Pig already knows French; after going to the fair he oui, oui, oui-ed all the way home!

Must be nice to be a wealthy cartoonist wiling away his days thinking up horrible puns to foist on his readers. Hard up for entertainment are they.

I’ve heard Pig’s comment many, many times. From adult students I taught in a remedial Business English class. Thank heaven I’m retired now, because this was before the internet, cell phones, and tablets. I can hear my younger colleagues now trying to explain that emojis, acronyms, and specialized contractions are not universally understood.

He wanted to read about the reed, so he read the red book.

For you, Pig, English is hard. For others, it is soft. Listen and learn….

https://open.spotify.com/show/4JbxNUkWfveKC0xnKrK7tX?si=fo_k9YPrSSiW9JdzsQebtQ

Sluggo is lit.