Dick Tracy by Mike Curtis and Charles Ettinger for December 01, 2019

Come gather ‘round now comics fans, a story I will tell

Tuzon a wretched criminal. Mike Nomad knew him well.

Nomad went undercover as a barker with a spiel

Soon all suspicions were confirmed. Mike grew wise to his deal.

Tulza ran but could not hide. He crashed into a truck

Spilled out harsh caustic acid. Some carnies have no luck.

He served his time and was cut loose, a curiosity

In Parliament of Oddities. Tuzon’s mendacity.

The con man and a murderer was known as Haf-n-Haf

Today we call him Splitface, a grim thug who does not laugh.

Nomad calls him a “Joker.” Says he got what he deserved

Splitface has taken a dark turn. His troubled mind perturbed.

Oh rats

For this I stood up late

I suppose I should have known

Some things come down to fate

Expecting to be thrilled

I suppose I’m just a sap

Since the best there is to read

’Tis a recap of a recap

I wonder what’s the time

That the dreaded thing I fear

When I somehow find a way

For my post to disappear

But perhaps the day will come

When the powerful ones will see

That part of all the fun

Is to say we disagree

Good morning™, carnival goers!

So, Tulza became a curiosity (not curiousity). Now he’s definitely not happen about how his hotel hit went (or didn’t go).

Hall of Fame: there is actually video of Mitchel Veenstra and the four volunteers performing the rescue. It made the news around the world.

https://wina.com/news/030030-todays-must-see-dash-cam-catches-dramatic-rescue/

Good morning™, frustrated no-kill bombers !

I wouldn’t stand so close if I were you, Cly.

I’ll bet that carnival’s Parliament was positively Funkadelic!! Was Atomic Dog part of the act?

I’m assuming that there will be a missing persons report issued for Clybourne by the end of the week?

Would you believe you missed em by that much!

Tulza: Disappointment!!, Curses, foiled again!

They weren’t, but he should have been.

What really made Tulza go round the corner was the Singing Fat Lady got $20 more a week and a nicer trailer.

In the original story by Chester Gould, it was clearly stated that Tulza was driving the truck, not running into it. Oh, well, Gould himself either ret-conned or (more likely) just forgot, sometimes. His original Mole story had the Mole running an underground hideout for crooks. When Mole reappeared in the 70s, they talked about his “counterfeiting ring”, which never happened on panel in the strip. But for someone who claims to be such a big fan of DT, Mike sure takes liberties with the canon.

I wonder if the Parliament of Oddities is divided into Commons and Lords.

The wrong side of his face is disfigured if you look at how he’s laying in the acid in yesterday’s strip.

1-CAPTAIN: I’ll take it from here Clueless…

2-…so one day I’m in England, I don’t remember why, when I decide to go see their famous Parliament. You know, the House of Lords and all that. Anyway…

3-…it’s more of a freak show than you could even imagine from what you see on television about the Brexit and everything…

4-Oddly enough, a young Boris Johnson was there. He pretty much looked the same as he does now but he was dying only half his hair. I tell ya, those Brits!

CLUELESS: What’s that got to do with the Crow Delivery Service story?

CAPTAIN: If you tell a story, I get to tell a story.

5-SHADY: You only got one eye Grandpa. How do you know which lens to look through? You wouldn’t have to decide if you’d a bought one of those old sea captain’s spyglass thingees. It would be funny if you put it on the wrong eye. “THIS THING DON’T WORK!” Don’t you think that would be funny Grandpa? Grandpa?

Yesterday the right side of his face was in the acid. Today (and all other days) the left side of his face is damaged. Tricky.

I’m not sure, but I think you’re supposed to wait until your victim actually gets in the car before you detonate your bomb.

Today’s strip is the comic strip equivalent of Thanksgiving left-overs.

Ladies and Gentlemen! Right here, the Haf-and-Haf Origin Story! SEE the Parliament of Oddities! SEE the man made two by caustic acid! LAUGH at him and drive him even more batty!

How batty can he get? Now he remembers that car-bombing victims should be in the exploding cars! We have a very frustrated Splitface. Clybourne had better be at his best as a street psychologist, for his own good!