Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 31, 2020

Goat, you haven’t been to Wuhan recently, have you?

At least Rat is trying to be conscientious of Goat, which Rat rarely is…

Nowadays, people say Get the &@*! away from me!

Also, why do you need to excuse yourself after a cough, but not a sneeze? After a fart, I get it. You have some level of control. But a cough? I agree with Rat.

Soon we’ll have devices that record the sound of you saying “Bless You” and then play that back whenever it’s appropriate.

“Gesundheit” translates as “Health”. Which works better for me than “Goddess bless you”. The polite way to cough is into a hankie, or absent that, your shoulder or arm.

PS: my (grand)mother’s generation could control sneezes coughs and flatulence at least long enough to reach the “retiring room”. In my observation. I was never able to figure out how, though.

It depends on what kind of a cough you have. If it’s the kind that shoots a green glob across the room, the proper response would be, “EEWWW!” followed by a quick evacuation.

‘may you die in good health!’

This is creepy, as the news of coronavirus spreads!

Oh, Steph — have you, too, succumbed to Apostrophe Overload?

How about “I don’t WANT to get on the cart!” ?

Nice try for a Rat ! … Croc Power !

The traditional “God bless you” is said after a sneeze because a sneeze is a symbol of throwing off the devil.

My mother’s response to my cough was “Do you (italics) have to do that!”

Whether it’s coronavirus or the plague, it’s nothing to sneeze at.

I like silence too! OY

“Bless you” is a ridiculous Pavlovian response to the sound of someone sneezing. I always say “I acknowledge the fact that I heard you sneeze”. Same thing.

Not dead yet.

I think it was Richard Pryor that asked, "Why is when someone sneezes we say “Bless You!”, but when someone farts we all laugh like hell!"

Pastis should change his name to ‘Staph’

When I was a kid back in the Stone Age, I was told by the old folks that when you sneeze, your heart stops beating for that instant so you could die. So you say “God bless you” so that if sneezing person did die they would do so with God’s blessing and go to heaven.

Take your pick… The practice of blessing someone who sneezes dates as far back as at least AD 77, although it is far older than most specific explanations can account for. Some have offered an explanation suggesting that people once held the folk belief that a person’s soul could be thrown from their body when they sneezed, that sneezing otherwise opened the body to invasion by the Devil or evil spirits, or that sneezing was the body’s effort to force out an invading evil presence. In these cases, “God bless you” or “bless you” is used as a sort of shield against evil. The Irish Folk story “Master and Man” by Thomas Crofton Croker, collected by William Butler Yeats, describes this variation. Moreover, in the past some people may have thought that the heart stops beating during a sneeze, and that the phrase “God bless you” encourages the heart to continue beating.[

I wasn’t brought up to say anything after someone sneezed, except possibly telling them where we kept the Kleenex. It seemed strange later when I ran into people who had been brought up to consider it polite.

But I noticed that “bless you” sounds a little like a sneeze itself. What would you say that sounds like a cough?

Tact has never been one of Rat’s strong suits.

Just in time for the coronavirus! This is quite helpful and timely!

Rat for POTUS! Let’s try honesty for a change.

“It’s own kind…” is incorrect. It’s is a contraction of “it is” or “it has.” Its is a possessive just like “my” or “your.”

I usually go with, “Knock it off!” I can’t see Rat disagreeing with me.

Na zdravie!

If someone sneezes and farts at the same time, you should say “Bless eeeuw”.

Cover your mouth!

It isn’t the cough that carries you off

It’s the coffin they carry you off in.

We are all worm food.

Reminds me of this (paraphrased) comment from Ellen de Generes:“I was walking down the street. As a nun passed by me walking in the opposite direction, she said, “God bless you.” I replied, “But I didn’t sneeze.”

Stephan – its = belonging or pertaining to it; it’s = it is.

It’s not a big deal to sneeze/ you may do it however you please/ but do have a care / as to how, when and where/ you emit a posterior “breeze”.

How about, “Cover your dang mouth, you idiot!”

My freshman German professor told us Germans generally considered it impolite to say “gesundheit” when someone sneezed, and I’ve always agreed.

I never really got the whole concept of saying things like that when you sneeze, belch or break wind. It just means you’re allergic to something, enjoying food and have a good digestive system. It’s nature. Not rudeness.

Did Pastis really write it’s in the second panel? Oops.

You say Chuck Norris

Frighteningly appropriate for the new coronavirus.

Days like these I love Rat. Bonus: the Chinese New Year is the year of the Rat.

About as funny as watching a loved one die of suffocation.

My dog barks at me when I sneeze. I don’t think he is saying “Dog bless you.”

In some Middle East countries, it is polite to burp after a meal, and then say “Praise God.”

Folklore believed when you sneezed, it was a temporary death so they said “God Bless You” in order to keep the evil spirits from entering your body while you were unable to defend yourself. I don’t recall coughing, belching, or farting having the same superstition. I admit, I typically say “God Bless You” or “Gesundheit” after a sneeze just out of habit. Gesundheit is generic in wishing someone good health so saying it after a cough also makes sense. I think I like Rat’s “Worms to take him yet” even better though.

I usually just yell at the coughing offender, “STOP DYING!” and it mostly works

I asked my friends at school to cough but they didn’t get the joke

We say “Bless You” after a sneeze because it’s a hangover from the outbreaks of Bubonic Plague. One of the symptoms was sneezing and in the days before anti biotics, the plague meant death, so you got a “bless you” as a way of saving your soul. It’s also where we get the nursery rhyme “A ring, a ring of roses” from.“A ring, a ring of roses” – another sign of the plague was a ring of red blotches around your neck and throat.“A pocket full of posies” – herbs and dried flowers carried in the hope that the smell warded off the plague.“A-tishoo, a-tishoo, we all fall down” – death.

Geez, Goat! Don’t be so sensitive. Rat was only trying to be helpful (in his usual Ratty way)….

Ok, this time Rat is on the correct side. “Worms don’t take me now!” LOL

If I sneeze anywhere in the house, even in the bathroom with the door closed and the shower running, I can hear my Mom yell “bless you”. I’ll find those microphones if it kills me.

I just say “well said, buddy” and pat them on the back.

Nine months later.It is now a bit harder to laugh about this.Still: rat rules.