Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 19, 2020

Too bad, I haven’t heard a good Attila the Hun joke in months.

I get this all the time with Lincoln jokes.

Not until they apologise to us for Franco-American.

Al Bundy, save us!

What would that mean? That the Romans are all slackers or did they go to sleep so late that they haven’t awakened yet?

You’re just bitter because no one likes your medieval history jokes.

Is this considered a romantic joke?

I want to hear the punchline.

What about Hunnish-Americans? How long do they have to live with this bloodthirsty barbarian image?

Nah, he didn’t kill all of them. He fathered children on a great many of them.

Ok, how about, this Akkadian king conquered Assyria, and put all the men to death…

Still too soon?

Who, cowboys! “Roman, Roman, Roman, keep them doggies Roman…”

Is this about Italy’s Covid-19 resurgence? Or is it just Pastis trying to be funny?

(He succeeds often enough that I still read this…)

Isn’t it Romantic?

Ire ad infernum te rodent!

Hummmm ….. A PC Pig … Pig we hear they have a job opening up at the Butcher shop for you ;-) ….. ….Croc Power !

I can imagine being a comedian these days is much harder. Now you have to be funny without inadvertently offending someone! Doesn’t matter if it was not on purpose since society no longer forgives most “offenders”. A big thumbs up to all of those comedians who are still thriving in today’s climate!

If today is too soon, maybe tomorrow will be OK to tell this joke. Don’t leave us hanging, Stephan.

His feelings were hurt because nobody in Rome said, “Hi, Hun.”

Nowadays, you can’t even make a knock-knock joke.

Since Latin was the language spoken in Rome, wouldn’t Roman Americans be Latinos?

Doesn’t rat realize that Roman Lives Matter.

Roman-Americans?

All humor is hate speech. Anyone who laughs, or even smiles, is being an insensitive bigot.

when in Rome, do like the Visigoths do

Yeah. I know. And I have this terrific ‘a Neanderthal, a Cro-magnon and a mastodon walk into a bar’ joke that I get shamed into suppressing…

HA!

…and Huns. Don’t forget to apologize to Huns for invoking apt stereotypes.

Tony Soprano explained it well. I know, this Kraut was happily married to one for 54 years (RIP). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUAaFavh8sA “Yes, dear, no dear, no excuse dear.”

Apologize to Roman Polanski?

You know the formula: three parts Gaul to one part Roman…

From Portland or Kenosha

A Roman walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’d like a martinus.” “Don’t you mean martini?” “No, I only want one.”

Hey, people are still fondly harbouring grudges over events that happened more than a couple thousand years ago. It’s only been 1500 years now for Attila.

Maybe rat should go back to writing Danny Donkey stories.

Nicely put, Pastis.

it’s like it’s too soon for tragedy to turn into comedy IMHO

It’s not often one gets to hear an Attila the Hun joke, and PC Pig has to interrupt before the punch line?!

I’ll give you a punch line, Pig!

(Not a Roman-American, but close enough to it.)

Life is too short to always be looking for a reason to be offended.

What have the Romans ever done for us?