Brewster Rockit by Tim Rickard for March 20, 2021

Brewster and Agent X: twins, separated at birth.

And then he prints them out again and burns them again, just to be sure.

And of course we all know he merely had to delete them.

Bureaucracy at its finest!! In order to “save” money, we’ll spend more to save less!!

/SNARK/

“Why don’t you just burn the hard drive?”

And after burning the printouts, he swallows them.

print them, shred them, then burn them

I wipe my hard drive clean with Pledge.

Is that why they call it “polishing it off” ?

After reading the file (or having the computer read it to him), how about, “This file will self-destruct in 5 seconds …”

Just remember to make 3 copies for the archive first.

Agent x is so old school! he needs to be replaced with agent Y, or agent Z

No displays, just a DECWriter, poor bastard.

And I thought you burns them on a CD. Oh waitsaminute.

“And I get a few files so secret I have to burn them before I try to read them.”

The Onion already parodied Trump’s boys doing that, printing out there dads emails and then burning them so there would be no trace of wrongdoing.

It’s like the old joke about the two guys working beside the street. One would furiously dig a hole, and the second would fill it right back in. then they’d move to the next spot and do it all over again. When asked what they were doing, one said, “Well, there’s supposed to be three of us, but the guy who plants the tree is out sick today.”

Top Secret: Burn before reading!

Sensitive files? They must be SJWs.

Wow! Brewster made a valid point.

Oh if you really want to destroy Sensitive files, put them on the internet. With in a week or two of being rewritten and distorted, it will just become another conspiracy theory. No-one will believe it to be true.

Sounds like that oxymoron “government intelligence” would be in full effect.

Ummmm…sure.

After reading them, does he also have to erase his memory of it? I believe the Men in Black have a device that can do that.

Burning the Computer releases too many horrible Toxins, so he has to burn Paper.

And, now that all the paper is coated in Flame Retardant, it’s getting more and more Difficult.

Wonder who else’s computer X has?

Attorney client communications are confidential. And privileged.

I have a question for any grammar nazis who read this comment. Does a question mark belong after Brewster’s sentence? Something beginning with “I thought” seems to be to be more of a statement and less of a question.

His computer will self-destruct in 5 seconds (turns out they were using Exchange server.)