Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for March 31, 2021

Now, the real education of Earl begins.

I’d like to go to Vegas one day, but visiting a casino wont be high on my list of things to do.

Since the odds always favor the “House”, should it still be called gambling?

Since the “House” doesn’t like anyone beating the odds and makes sure they don’t.

No.

All in due course, Earl.

Sam Rothstein: “…And this is the end result. This is it. After all the comp trips, after all the champagne, and the bright lights, and all the broads, and all the booze, it’s all been set up for one purpose…to get YOUR money. I mean, what else do you think we’re doing out here in the middle of the desert?”

And this was way before “Pawn Stars”!

So precocious, and on the money, too!

Ain’t it a shame that donny couldn’t get in on that. He might’ve actually had a business that he couldn’t bankrupt.

“More than enough for everyone?”

But it’s not going to “everyone.” It’s going mostly to the owners. The rest of us get just what the owners let “trickle down” after they’ve taken 90% of the profit.

The only real way to cheat a casino is to eat way more buffet food than the amount you pay could possibly cover. …it works for me.

Back in the early 70s I flew 3 friends from Sacramento To Vegas for a 3 day weekend. I got lots of bennies just for being the pilot of the plane, and took $100 for the entire weekend. While I went home with $100, one of the guys went to the dice table, in less than 1 hour he was $12K ahead, but by the end of the weekend he was flat broke

OTOH, on of the guys I worked with got married and went to Reno for their honeymoon he left his wife by the door while he went to check in, his new wife spotted a $5 multi-casino slot machine by the entrance and decided that one time would not hurt. The bells, whistles and lights were apparently her first clue that she had won. The Casino comped a suite and took pictures, which wound up in newspapers all over NorCal. She hit is really big, the high 6 figures. It was the first time she had ever been in a Casino. My friend told us all about it, including the fact that she refused to play any Casino game again. He said they did see some really nice shows, which was the reason they went to Reno to begin with

And then there’s “Jeopardy James”.

Now that casinos are being legalized damn near everywhere (NY, PA, FL, all along the Gulf Coast, LA, all the indigenous native territories, etc), the Vegas and Atlantic City hegemon has crumbled and cities are becoming ghost towns.

The “entertainment” side of Las Vegas far outweighs the “gambling” side if you are not a gambler. The last time in Vegas I spent more time in the show halls than the casino floor. Then there was Wayne Newton(a genius entertainer), Englebert, Frank, Cosby, Elvis, Don Rickels, Ann-Margaret, Seigfried and Roy, and many more. Two weeks there saw two shows a nite and never had to repeat a show.

That’s almost a good a Profit Margin as Disney World.

I used to have a friend who was a Musician. The first time he went to Lost Wages, he came back and informed me that LV was the Cheapest place in the country to live if you didn’t Drink or Gamble.

He said that even the Grocery Stores had banks of Slot Machines. They practically Gave the food away to lure customers in to play the Slots. He bought Prime Rib Eye steaks for a Buck a Pound and gained weight the whole time he was there.

And, being a Non Drinker, non Gambler, saved a Bunch of money during his gig there.

The hyphen in the middle of the word “profit” threw me for a second. I was thinking there was an app or device called Pro-Fit, but then I remembered what decade this was from

They don’t build those casino off of the winners.

Duke really seems to be into the parental role. I wonder how much that surprised 1990s readers the first time around.