The greatest peace and freedom for the soul is forgiveness. When someone has offended, hurt you forgiving him or her releases you from the bondage of anger, resentment, torment and hatred. Forgiveness is for the offended, not the offender. Some people just cannot understand that. My step-grandfather sexually molested me when I was 7 years old. I forgave him. It did not happen overnight but when it did it was complete. If he were alive today I could embrace him and tell him that I love him. That forgivenes is so genuine. I cannot stress enough the importance and necessity of forgiveness. It is the catalyst of healing. I was never in denial over the hurt that molestation caused me. Forgiveness did not say that the offence was insignificant. But I am so thankful that I forgave my step-grandfather. I would not have had it any other way. Do you have a grudge? Admit the hurt—but forgive.
That is very true. I have been an Anglican priest at one time when our bishop, had a sexual relationship with one of our parishioners, I resigned and left that church. After some time I forgave him because he was only a human being as I am with all the temptations as I have, only he could not control his - so I forgave him and felt much better afterward. We cannot cure the ills and errors caused by others but we can forgive. Indeed, the best thing we can do is forgive, first ourselves, then others. That is the best advice I ever received. It’s tough but we can and must do it.
Depending on the severity of the crime, you might be right. But, in the case you mentioned, not if an adult molests a 7-year old. That is a violent crime and should not be condoned under any circumstances. Ideally, you would have told your parents, the offender would have served time in prison and you would have received guidance from a psychologist to cope with it. Your step-grandfather likely committed the same crime against other children and should have been stopped. My sympathy is with the victim(s), not the criminal.
Mum was a great one for holding grudges, usually over something I considered trivial. As The child said, the people against whom she held these grudges A) didn’t know about it, and B) Most likely didn’t care.
She was, to put it mildly, an odd duck. I have the feeling that the stores where she claimed she’d “never shop there again”, were probably relieved.
If only the Christian Right felt and acted like you do, they may be taken seriously. Right now they are hypocritical and do not follow God’s word in any way.
The only person a grudge hurts is you. It is not worth the effort. Forgiving someone makes youfeel better. Just don’t forget what caused the problem and be aware to avoid the situation in the future.
It helps a molested child to know they did nothing wrong. The adult did. So many children feel guilty all their lives for doing nothing wrong. Being able to forgive an abuser takes a lot of strength. I commend you. I worked with abused children, also with abused adults, and I don’t know if you told anyone at the time, but if not, again, you did nothing wrong. Understanding that helps with being able to forgive.
That self-righteous curio-shoppe wall-plaque motto from Opal deserves a klop im kopf. The young folks should retract their apology and head for the Realtor’s office. One in Alaska, maybe.
Curiosity, why does it always seem to be the wife’s parents that they end up living by? Little girls can’t remove themselves from their mother’s apron strings?
How I know that, with my mom feelings was hurt by her sister, decades before that same sister got very angry with their brother and not speak to him over 40 years. My own mom had trouble why her mom treated her really bad, she lived with that until her Dementia gained in her mind. Hard not to hold grudges when abused.
jagedlo over 3 years ago
Especially with all the time Nelson stays with them!
David Huie Green LoveJoyAndPeace over 3 years ago
Interesting phrase: No matter how much you nurse a grudge, it never gets any better.
(Cue the music LET IT GO from Disney’s Frozen.)
Rodeo Boy over 3 years ago
The greatest peace and freedom for the soul is forgiveness. When someone has offended, hurt you forgiving him or her releases you from the bondage of anger, resentment, torment and hatred. Forgiveness is for the offended, not the offender. Some people just cannot understand that. My step-grandfather sexually molested me when I was 7 years old. I forgave him. It did not happen overnight but when it did it was complete. If he were alive today I could embrace him and tell him that I love him. That forgivenes is so genuine. I cannot stress enough the importance and necessity of forgiveness. It is the catalyst of healing. I was never in denial over the hurt that molestation caused me. Forgiveness did not say that the offence was insignificant. But I am so thankful that I forgave my step-grandfather. I would not have had it any other way. Do you have a grudge? Admit the hurt—but forgive.
wiatr over 3 years ago
Pearl is so right.
Yakety Sax over 3 years ago
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” Mark Twain
Balaclava over 3 years ago
That is very true. I have been an Anglican priest at one time when our bishop, had a sexual relationship with one of our parishioners, I resigned and left that church. After some time I forgave him because he was only a human being as I am with all the temptations as I have, only he could not control his - so I forgave him and felt much better afterward. We cannot cure the ills and errors caused by others but we can forgive. Indeed, the best thing we can do is forgive, first ourselves, then others. That is the best advice I ever received. It’s tough but we can and must do it.
StephenRice over 3 years ago
In such cases, limits are useful, but should be limited. They should’ve just invoked Proverbs 25:17—gently, of course.
BarryCassak over 3 years ago
Depending on the severity of the crime, you might be right. But, in the case you mentioned, not if an adult molests a 7-year old. That is a violent crime and should not be condoned under any circumstances. Ideally, you would have told your parents, the offender would have served time in prison and you would have received guidance from a psychologist to cope with it. Your step-grandfather likely committed the same crime against other children and should have been stopped. My sympathy is with the victim(s), not the criminal.
Breadboard over 3 years ago
Does this mean Roscoe is out of the doghouse for the book chewing ?
ERBEN2 over 3 years ago
No , Roscoe today , so no nothing .
tremaine53 over 3 years ago
“We didn’t mean what we said” belongs over on “Ripley’s Believe It, Or Not!”
sandpiper over 3 years ago
That’s a really good homily. Opal has said more in that statement than in a dozen earlier arcs.
KEA over 3 years ago
good point
Dani Rice over 3 years ago
Mum was a great one for holding grudges, usually over something I considered trivial. As The child said, the people against whom she held these grudges A) didn’t know about it, and B) Most likely didn’t care.
She was, to put it mildly, an odd duck. I have the feeling that the stores where she claimed she’d “never shop there again”, were probably relieved.
Jeffin Premium Member over 3 years ago
I bet there are a lot of those in hospitals.
DawnQuinn1 over 3 years ago
If only the Christian Right felt and acted like you do, they may be taken seriously. Right now they are hypocritical and do not follow God’s word in any way.
hildigunnurr Premium Member over 3 years ago
that is SO true!
stairsteppublishing over 3 years ago
The only person a grudge hurts is you. It is not worth the effort. Forgiving someone makes youfeel better. Just don’t forget what caused the problem and be aware to avoid the situation in the future.
Barnabus Blackoak over 3 years ago
where has Roscoe been ?
Barnabus Blackoak over 3 years ago
they should give her a bill for all the unpaid babysitting they have done for her.
Moonkey Premium Member over 3 years ago
It helps a molested child to know they did nothing wrong. The adult did. So many children feel guilty all their lives for doing nothing wrong. Being able to forgive an abuser takes a lot of strength. I commend you. I worked with abused children, also with abused adults, and I don’t know if you told anyone at the time, but if not, again, you did nothing wrong. Understanding that helps with being able to forgive.
MuddyUSA Premium Member over 3 years ago
@Rodeo Boy – AMEN!!
Mayor Snorkum over 3 years ago
That self-righteous curio-shoppe wall-plaque motto from Opal deserves a klop im kopf. The young folks should retract their apology and head for the Realtor’s office. One in Alaska, maybe.
BeniHanna6 Premium Member over 3 years ago
Curiosity, why does it always seem to be the wife’s parents that they end up living by? Little girls can’t remove themselves from their mother’s apron strings?
zeexenon over 3 years ago
Says a Grudge.
zeexenon over 3 years ago
Useful exchange between parents and adult children today. I wish.
Sailor46 USN 65-95 over 3 years ago
Unfortunately, the rest of the world has yet to understand that.
Ukko wilko over 3 years ago
“Like”
kab2rb over 3 years ago
How I know that, with my mom feelings was hurt by her sister, decades before that same sister got very angry with their brother and not speak to him over 40 years. My own mom had trouble why her mom treated her really bad, she lived with that until her Dementia gained in her mind. Hard not to hold grudges when abused.
JesseLouisMartinez over 3 years ago
She’s been nursing Earl since they’ve been married
morgankhat over 3 years ago
Boy, ain’t that that the truth.