That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for August 06, 2021

“Great! Now the picnic is ruined!”

“Just remember — if an enemy helicopter appears, crouch down, hold still, and pretend to be a water lily.”

You can’t fool anyone. You don’t need a raft for that.

“The Thing”—Phil Harris sings!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FdWRsHeV98&t=72s

Naked and afraid, Vietnam Edition

The all-male version of ‘The Ten Commandments’.

The lieutenant gave orders to strip / for this wading-across-the-stream trip. / We wore helmets and socks, / packed the rest in a box, / which we’d take to the shore from the ship. /// I was told to grab hold of one end / of the crate, (he would superintend). / Down a ramp, long and steep / into water, hip-deep / we would, both of us, slowly descend. /// Our uniforms would have stayed dry / if he’d only held his end up high, / but (he may have been drunk), / he then dunked that big trunk / when he slipped, I am still not sure why. /// If some clothing gets wet— these are trifles, / but the same can’t be said of our rifles. / With no weapon, and nude, / I’d have said something rude, / but some things a discrete soldier stifles.

This is a bit awkward but the blighter that started this canvas is passed out cold on the floor clutching a giant water bong.

All I know is we’re supposed to cool this crate in the river, put it on the next plane out of Egypt, and send it to a warehouse in America. But this crazy guy in a fedora, and holding a bullwhip, says to me, “Whatever you do, don’t open it up!!!” So, waddaya say? One little peek?

After storm surge a new lake is forming, / and around it mosquitos are swarming. / So we move all our stuff / to high ground. Times are rough. / N.Y.C. in ten years. Global Warming.

British soldiers transporting supplies in India after the monsoon rain. circa 1880. Not certain what happened to their clothes, but the Brits had a lot of trouble adjusting to Indian heat.

Washed out….

“Say Reginald…Know what this reminds me of?..Do you remember when we use to go skinny dipping in the canals back in Sussex? Great times those were, especially when we could get your sister to go with us. Well, it was great for me anyway.”

doughy doughboys dipping dimly…

I wish the artist had finished the picture….

oh, no. I forgot my sunscreen.

Been there, done that

“This is what Bear Grylis does to keep his clothes dry. I’ve seen it on Survivor.”

“Down by the old mill stream, where I first met you..”

there are just a few water color sketches by Miles Chance and no further infohttps://www.iwm.org.uk/collections/item/object/4796

I love the smell of swamp gas in the morning….

“BLIMEY! I think I just lost me worm to a fish!”

“Oi! Jenkins! Quit pointing your rump at the painter, you cheeky git!”

Note the officer in the upper right corner, waiting for the men to form a stepping stone bridge for him to cross.

How Moses was smuggled out of the bullrushes.

They call that art. But art’s a fart, you know in your heart.

A River-crossing with Kit: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:A_River-crossing_with_Kit_Art.IWMARTLD4902.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this roughly B4 paper size, watercolor painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

https://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/08/masterpiece-2765.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

Guy in the back:“I fart in your general direction… General.”

THAT doesn’t look like Pharaoh’s dughter!

This is the last time we volunteer to help Hyacinth with her riparian entertainments.

I was crossing the river with Kit, / (he’s my mate an’ a bit of a git.) / Some of Christopher’s wit, / in his words, I submit: / “Put yer kit in the kit held by Kit.”

Kit —noun a male given name, form of Christopher.

kit —noun (Chiefly British) a costume or outfit of clothing, especially for a specific purpose: battle kit.

kit —noun a collection of tools, supplies, etc., for a specific purpose: first-aid kit. Also, the case for containing these.

all the men are getting ready to “USE” the boy in the box,great fun in the army.

For Peanuts/Snoopy fans only:

The real reason these soldiers are here / nude, (with one ashore showing his rear), / is that they’ve been called in / to bring to Bill Mauldin / a case of his fav’rite root beer.

“God’s an Englishman “, it’s been said/ but even a Briton must dread/ what the water conceals/(it isn’t just eels !)/ in the currents that lie ahead../// it’s scary to doff yer drawers/ an’ yer chance of infection soars/ when you enter the waters/ into which Shiva’s daughters/ their daily detritus pours///Now, the Thames isn’t crystal clear/ but compared with wot’s livin’ in ‘ere/ it’s a mountain stream/ it’s an Alpine dream/ an’ me scrotum shrivels in fear./ If I gets to the other side/ with me testicles still inside/ my poor wrinkled sack/ I will not look back/ an’ I’ll tell my grandkids with pride/// (some day, o’er my Christmas toddy)/ ‘ow it were that their old granddaddy/ while ‘is scrotum was gnawed/ courageously clawed/ ‘is way ‘crost the foul Irrawaddy../// (You can see by this bloke’s expression/ that he’s not enjoying the session/ and he’d rather not know/ what’s lurking below/ but it certainly isn’t refreshin’.)

I never could tell which one is Klinger after he takes his dress off.