That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for August 31, 2021

The Wilsons and their all donut diet kept the local furniture repairman in business.

The Chair Recognizes Harvey. (They’re old riends !)

It was sad, but Harvey knew that the only thing you could do for a chair with a broken leg was to put it down.

Joseph’s wife had to nag to convince / him; he didn’t respond to her hints. / Since the broken leg snapped, / his endurance was sapped, / so he cut up a chair to make splints. /// “You big fool!” the wife screamed in despair, / (after which she proceeded to swear). / “Your bone fracture will mend, / (though you’ll limp in the end). / It’s that chair you were paid to repair.”

Danial figured if he just glued this random piece of wood to the leg, it would be just fine.

Damned IKEA, where is that Allen wrench?

‘Stress fracture’? Bull-pucky! This was sabotage!

Everyone had considered the chair / to be damaged beyond repair /but a chair that’s so fair/ surely warrants repair/ as Harvey is well aware .///Harvey’s known for his excellent care/ (To question him no one would dare)/ so never despair/ when Harvey is there / but for Harvey’s Invoices…prepare !

Having accidentally glued both of his hands to the chair’s legs, Wilfred managed to partially free one of them. But was it enough to enable him to use the toilet?

Harvey, new to the game, is thinking “Now, where does THIS piece go?”

Bloody Termites!

So business ain’t so good, and maybe it ain’t feedin’ me so good, but…with a little gravy, who knows, this could maybe be a drumstick?

When furniture repair failed, he decided to go into orthopedics. His friends’ advice remained the same.

Ben discovered Balsa Wood is not a good material for chairs.

I should have known…..Says right here, ‘Made in Wuhan, China’. I wonder what crap they’ll be sending us next!

OK, now that the glue’s applied, Jed, Clampet.

Marty the cudgel maker still had a lot to learn about his craft.

Maybe if I cut off the other three I can make it a kid’s chair.

harvey paused to ponder the significance of this latest development…

The moment “Chips” thought about becoming a physiotherapist.

“Huh. I guess it’s not a folding chair.”

Did everyone hear the rim shot after the punch line? LOL!

While we’re on Day 2 of Spencelayh, how about being proactive? Try this – https://www.bonhams.com/auctions/20486/lot/132/ – with a caption: “Yes, dear, I’m pregnant, and no, dear, it isn’t yours.”

“Where did I put those glasses again?”

Hmmm. Smells like fish, tastes like wood.

Harvey shown here with a real grip on his wood.

That chair was already shot/further violence it needed not/ but Harvey’s a brute/ who sure likes to shoot/ he likes it an awful lot///but back to the fate of the chair/(which in fact was beyond repair)/it’s found a new life/ thanks to marital strife:/ there are splinters in Harvey’s wife’s hair../ but you know she will win in the end/ for his soup has an arsenic blend/ and she’ll buy a new chair/ and contentedly stare/ drinking wine – while she plays solitaire…

HARVEY: “I’ll go to the banker with my hat in my hand and maybe he’ll…wait! I have a better idea!”

I will just saw the other legs even with the broken one. A table for midgets?

“Damn,” thought Harvey. “I didn’t realize my own strength!”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Cruise. I would’ve sworn this was the breakaway chair for the stunt!”

“I should have joined my brother fixing Barometers. We have the same taste in hats.”

“Portrait of the Artist just before changing from Woodworking to Painting”

The Broken Leg:This roughly 16×11 painting, inscribed with 

C.SPENCELAYH. 

at its lower left, is privately owned. It was auctioned June 27, 2017, and again June 18, 2018, by the same auctioneer.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/08/masterpiece-2782.html 

I’ve added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) as well. So far, 4 works by this artist have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2021/08/30?comments=visible 

has the prior, and my 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/08/masterpiece-2778.html 

comment has the artist info that I used to point to here. Due to copyright issues (the artist died in 1958 and the painting’s date is unknown), once again, I can’t use Wikimedia Commons for this painting.

I have got to stop watching FOX News while I’m at work!

“Well, for once the chair kit came with an extra piece!”

Viewing several pieces of the broken chair leg, Leslie had a sudden inspiration. He would not glue the pieces together, but would instead polish and pile them atop one another in an interlocking pattern. Thus was born the parlor game that would eclipse “Twister.” Leslie called it ”Jenga Chair.”

“Ooops!! Well, here’s another priceless Chippendale chair shot-to-hell and beyond repair!”

“Well, shoot. I’ve already robbed the piano to repair the front legs, so now I guess I’ll take a leg from the kitchen table. Yeah, that’s the ticket.”

I told her if she kept sitting there day after day playing marble solitaire that she would break the chair! Now, I guess, she’ll have to sit on the floor to keep playing.

If he continued to cut down the legs, Harvey thought, this might make the new seat for his gokart in the next Shriners’ parade.

“Hello? Hello?! Dammit, I’ll never get the hang of these freakin’ cell phones.”