Herman by Jim Unger for September 17, 2021

The Gentle Giant.

Never judge a book by it’s cover, or a man by his looks.

Of course not my good man.

He’s the salt of the earth.

Careful, big guy, you don’t want to anger the little ones.

“And what do you need it for, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Oooh! I sprinkle it in the wounds of the guys who asked me stupid questions.”

He has to ask? Reach around.

“Let the Wookiee win.”

Being alone in a greasy diner at 1AM and wanting to end it all, he replied…

“Get it yourself, Fatboy!”

At least he asked politely.

“Say ‘please’.”

No trouble……yikes

yes, I think you could

I think bikers get a worse rap than they deserve.

Of course, this is based on my personal observations. I happen to know a number of people with whom I am friendly and they are bikers. My friends tend to be decent people. I’ve had almost no experience with “random bikers.”

I don’t like bikers on the road. A few of them deserve the dislike because of the unsafe driving tactics they use, but mostly I dislike them because they are more difficult to see than a car and there is no such thing as a “fender bender” with a biker. I am paranoid around them on the road.

I add some extra distance because of Sir Isaac Newton: F=ma. A motorcycle can stop faster than a car.

I would have liked to ride, but my wife worked emergency room as a student nurse. She witnessed some bikers being sewn and bolted back together. My wife and I normally negotiate things: in this case I simply ceded the point to her.

Besides, I am so paranoid about safety that not only would I wear a helmet, but also get fitted for a suit of armor. Also, I could not find a bike that comes with a roll bar.

of Lice and Men. When was the last time Lennie louse had a good wash?

Without looking: “No. Get it yourself.”

Hmmm…thought that an ‘as-salt’ joke would have been used already. I guess not. So….here goes: ‘If not Bub, I will as-salt you and pepper you with jabs.’

Ouch…that joke needs some seasoning, if you ask me.

Only if you say “please”

Hey fella! You know what we call people like you where I come from? We mostly call ’em “Sir”.

What’s the joke? And what is the guy on the left holding in his hand?

I’m going to say, ‘No’, for your own good. You really need to cut salt out of your diet. It’s not good for your health. So … you’re welcome."

No problem my friend……

Must be Canadian

Thought you’d never ask.

I’ve told you twice, now; “Don’t bother me until I’m done eating. I’m not going to tell you again!”

Sure, you can have it, but that Sea Bass guy was just asking something about the salt.

“Why of course, sir! No trouble at all.”

Well, I’m just going to comment about a recent experience. Live in a retirement community downtown, people are pretty bad about parking here when they should not, no security. So was crossing our parking lot, an old dude (I’m old!) on a tricked out three-wheeler Harley came buzzing in, almost hit me. He laughed and told me to get out of his way, proceeded to park in our visitor lot, he was no visitor. This is why I don’t “carry”. I will take a hardened biker any day over these freakin’ old rich dudes who want believe the rest of us exist to wipe their donkeys.