That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 02, 2021

“Damn it! How long do I have to hold this rabbit in my mouth while this dame decides whether she wants poultry or meat for dinner?”

He was filled with Nimrodian pride / as he piled up his “kills” by her side. / When he gave her the bird, / she said, “Let’s have a word. / See that rabbit? We’re both why it died.” /// But a pregnancy’s not in her plan. / She’s engaged to a rich older man / (who’ll be sure to confront her / if it looks like the hunter). / So she prays that it won’t to Saint Anne.

Rob Rooster, so pleasant,

thinks dressed as a pheasant

will let him escape what is due.

But any old cock’ll do for this madam

who promptly consigns him to stew.

“Are you sure a duck, rabbit, and deer are going to be enough for your fat a** family? Mabey we should include the horse.”

“Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.”

“What on earth are you talking about? Have you been in my dope?”

“Aren’t you familiar with C3PO and R2D2, too?”

“No, but I caught a bird with my hands, solo, and just for you.”

“Great, kid, don’t get cocky.

I’d just as soon kiss a wookiee.”

My original post in 2017:

How Albert won Victoria’s heart.

Willie the house boy’s tuggin’ his tux

and the game hunt was simply grand.

The bug-eyed terrified horse knows it ain’t

Robert was proud of his hunting skills. He conveniently forgot that his man John was the one wielding the gun.

He’s confused when she calls him “barbarian,” / and refers to the pheasant as carrion. / After hunting all morning / he returned to her warning: / “I don’t eat dead things— I’m vegetarian.”

The collie had an even more hare-brain idea for an anniversary gift.

in the next breath he asked her if she was “game”…flattered she said, certainly…then Lloyd shot her…

When Ben offered this fresh meat to Ruth, / she refused it and said, “Here’s the truth. / I’ll eat fowl when you go / hunt with arrow and bow, / but, last week, birdshot shattered my tooth.”

If I can find 4 more golden rings by the 24th…

When he gave her the ghastly present/

Her reaction was downright unpleasant./

Said she, with a sneer/

“You misheard me, my dear/

I distinctly said ’shoot me a PEASANT’ !”

Surprisingly, a few days after posing for this painting , Lavinia founded the Javan chapter of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

When the carnage was fully complete/

He laid the mess at her feet/

But she grandly ignored/

The hideous hoard/

And called for some Shredded Wheat.///

He’d been hoping his present would thrill ‘er/

But she left him, preferring a Miller/

Quite wisely she said/

“I will always have bread -/

I prefer a ‘cereal killer’ !”

“Madame, I have zhown you everysing ve have! You have seen ze ducks, ze deer, and now ze pheasants! Zis is ze entire Dead Animals Line for fall! Please make up your mind or leave the shop! You are making ze horses nervous!”

Oh! I thought you said we’re not inviting peasants this year.

“Sorry, darling – I thought you said ‘peasants’…”

What is that on the ground? Did they shoot a donkey?

When I said I want mine “shaken, not stirred” I meant my Martinis…..

it’s amazing how the artist was able to capture al sharpton, standing in the background, in such detail…

I’d say thanks, but you know I’m vegan

She was the original ‘rabbit fan’.

Dear you need to shower, you’re a bit gamey

“I assure you Dear, I did not choke this pheasant!”

I’m sorry it’s such a poor day’s worth of hunting dear, I think the animals were alerted by the rustling of this dress.

Margret, listen, it is NOT a “light-winged Dryad of the trees, in some melodious plot” it’s DINNER and it’s in my hand.

This is why men don’t usually do the grocery shopping. No veggies.

Yes, Dear, YOU pluck it and clean it, then I will cook it.

Darling Albert, the Crown already owns all the unclaimed swans in the land, we don’t need to count all the pheasants. Keep a few for tonight’s dinner and send the rest to the royal uncles.

No wonder his horse is nervous/

Despite meritorious service./

No critter is safe/

From “Ravaging Rafe”/

From Cape May clear up to Port Jervis!

(What? That don’t look like Noo Joisey landscape?)

“Remember Albert, aside from the game, there’s another wild thing that needs stuffing!”

“But is not the tradition for the fourth anniversary “feathers”?"

“No, dear, it is flowers.”

“Well I found this in a field of flowers”

Looks like a young Albert and Vickie.

The first recoded image of the famous Javanese Python’s ‘Dead Pheasant, Rabbit & Deer’ sketch.

I thought the partridge was supposed to be in a pear tree.

“Thank you, dear, for remembering the ‘h’ this year.”

POE: Quote this raven – NEVER AGAIN! HAR HAR HAR!

He’d hoped his collection of dead

Would spur reparations in bed

But his wildest predictions

Would miss her predilections

She’d as soon “thank” the horse instead

Ernst II. and Alexandrine on The Rosenau Terrace after the Hunt: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Raden_Saleh_-_Ernst_II._und_Alexandrine_von_Sachsen-Coburg_und_Gotha_nach_der_Jagd_(1844).jpg 

(best viewed using Google Chrome, which can translate most webpages if necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2017/08/masterpiece-1767.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here (2 times total, including this Throwback Thursday repeat). 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2017/08/28?comments=visible 

has the first time this was used here (the artist info URL is pointed to by one of the here links in my blog entry comment).

If you start going through that 12 days of Christmas crap again like last year, I’m leaving you!

Now he’s confused. She made such a fuss of appreciation when the cat did the same thing.

You killed it, YOU dress it and YOU cook it!

Lord Richard;, tonight my dear you have a choice between, horse, deer, dog and this little cock .guess which one she chose?

“Sorry, deer.”

Honey, I know you want me to be ‘wearing’ a fan of feathers; but winter is coming, so I would prefer the rabbit fur coat.

Using a feather is kinky. Using the whole pheasant is perverted.