That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 08, 2021

“Miss, didn’t you see the KEEP OFF THE GRASS sign?”

Known in English as “The Laughing Maid,” / she sat smiling (and bare) in a glade. / Is she just scatter-brained, / or has no one explained: / Don’t squat nude in the grass with legs splayed.

Caroline hated her job – the stream smelled rotten, the ants where crawling up her ass, and the line between he actual job and sexual harassment was so fine that you needed a microscope to see it.

Lilly’s “back to nature” kick was short lived when a school bus passed by.

Alexandra was hoping that the handsome goat wrangler from yesterday would drop by.

Eunice, deciding she was tired of TSA delays decided on a drastic course of action…

“Don’t get up, there is no need to stir, Miss. / I am coming to you with a thermos / with warm water, and soap, / and a washcloth. I hope / to scrub grass stains off your epidermis.”

That’s a preternaturally long, preternaturally twisted leg she’s got there. Maybe that’s why they hid that one in the grass.

Why do I always have to be naked and then you hide under that sheet to take my picture?

The old meadows looks the same

As I step down from the drain

And there to meet me is my old naturism pal

Down the weeds I look and there sits Mary

Hair of gold and nothing wearing

It’s good to touch… the green, green grass of home (of course – watcha you thought?)

nude on the lawn, also known as bareass lass in the grass…

Mention the fire ants. They ruin your skin tone.

“Excuse me miss, I’m trying to paint the trees for art class. Nudes aren’t until next semester.”

This painting looks more like a photo to me.

Being a bit forward, this was Jenny’s most subtle picnic move

She took off her swimming pants and got bit up by fire ants.

It all started with the bottomless-mimosa-brunch with her girlfriends.

Nora Batty was a fine looking lass in her younger days…..and Compo has never forgotten the day he saw her posing for this painting!

A nude !

An unapologetic nude!

A nude who’s got that attitude !

That attitude that can’t be misconstrued !

Stark naked, yet, somehow not lewd,

she sits atop a sunny sward bedewed,

reminding you of things that you’d have doed

(when you were young and slim and lithely-thewed)

and to some quiet sylvan glade canoed,

and there away an afternoon have screwed..O, happy day ! A NUDE !

From a lovely nap au naturel / She sat up to find she’d cast a spell / On the artist, who gazed / Transfixed and amazed / By her form and her face and — oh, well….

“Is that a big tube of Chromium Oxide Green in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?”

Bush, what bush?

“When Jan woke up after the big party, something just didn’t FEEL right…”

Judging from her expression, the ants have found a place to build a new nest.

Julia suddenly realizes that yes, that is poison ivy.

Lounging in the grass is a gas, baby. Can you dig it?

When you’re prone to exposing your ass

To the scrutiny of all who pass

You must keep in mind

The intentions, unkind

Of the average snake in the grass.///

For deep in a carpet of green

silent, slithering, slyly unseen,

the serpent lies waiting

for your nude supinating -

with intentions overtly obscene. ///

So arise, while you’ve still got the chance !

Flee that herpetological dance,

which might be the occasion

for a snakely invasion !

Arise – and put on your pants !

Oh Oliver after our fun in the grass, we can swim in the refreshing lake.

Many a traveler lingered long and tipped generously the panhandler who didn’t have the wherewithal to put together a sign nor even clothing. Twas a sorry sight indeed.

Not well focus!

A Nude on the lawn or The Laughing Maid: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Julius_LeBlanc_Stewart_-_Un_Nu_sur_la_pelouse.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/12/masterpiece-2840.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far 4 works, by this artist, have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2021/01/29?comments=visible 

has the prior (the here links in my blog entry comment point to the artist info URLs in my comment there, plus a couple more).

“You wanted me to pose on the back lawn instead of the front? But all your neighbors are so friendly. They’re all waving and smiling.”

There is a very old joke about a woman named Anna who was injured when ants invaded a picnic. She was bitten so severely that she had to be taken to the Emergency Room. After treatment Anna was admitted to the hospital for overnight observation. One of the picnic-goers needed to send a telegram to her family to let them know what happened. Unfortunately, the telegraph company charged by the word and the person had very little money. After much rewording, the best the sender could come up with was “Anacin hospital. Adamant bitter asinine places”. Read it out loud if you need to.

or just to sit and look pretty?…….

I do have a problem with green grass and my butt just might get itchy doing that.

If only you write the right blurb

this nude would a prude not disturb

why not just say

it’s a work by Manet

titled “De jeunesse sur l’herbe?”

she is sitting on crab grass and it’s doing her a GREAT FAVOR. not biting her