That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for January 24, 2022

/// Kaiser Ferdinand (Second) is standing

in his portrait, erect and commanding.

He’d stiffly paraded

and, this time, unaided.

(The stick up his butt needed sanding.)

It’s called the Element of Suprise. First, I distract them with my legs. THEN, I wack them on the head with this stick.

Sir Lynn Belvedere of Clifton Webbingham , ready to discipline the children.

“Of course all military officers have good posture! You can’t bend over in one of these! Hell, you can’t even look down without falling over.”

“Does my bum look big in this?”

portrait of ballet dancer in his best suit of armor…

Are you sure this is what the “cool” people are wearing to the Super Bowl”?

If you ever have to fight him, go for the legs.

“What? It’s laundry day. This all I could find that was clean.”

The Emperor visits NorwAy in a desperate search for one more way Some creative form To veer from the normAnd perform foreplay in a doorway

Lord Thorvald Ikea posing with the dowel that gave him his big idea!

“It’s just a stick!” (Star Wars bad lip reading)

Sir Percival the Duck-footed is pleased as punch that his assignment is to lead the marching band.

Is that an armored dress that he’s wearing

Moments in plumbers helper portraiture.

Great Moments in Phallic Portraiture #369

He admittingly did feel better after finally pulling the stick out of his *&#, and immediately looked around for different clothes

There’s a general thought that his stick / Is a atand-in of sorts for his prick / In which case, he’s gone loopy / To hold it so droopy / That’s just not the right shtick for a dick!

When he heard that there would be a dance battle, he decided to take no chances.

Queen Elizabeth collar – check. Michael Jackson one glove only – check. Baryshnikov tights – check. Bill Shoemaker’s riding crop and winner’s sash -check and check! Now where’s the guy with the Polaroid Camera???

Not surprisingly, Theodore never did well when battling Lilliputians.

“And here we see Frederick modeling this year’s Under Armour, designed for better air flow and temperature regulation than last year’s.”

No one seems to have noticed (especially you, Steve). that the “top” of a plunger is where you put your hands. The “bottom” of a plunger is what does the “plunging”. Come on Steve, you need to read your caption before you print it.

The Archduke had found that that style that allowed him to go from the ballet to the battlefield.

Emperor Ferdinand II standing: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Johann_Peter_Krafft_-_Kaiser_Ferdinand_II._stehend_-_6662_-_%C3%96sterreichische_Galerie_Belvedere.jpg 

(best viewed with Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this oil on paper on cardboard, roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2022/01/masterpiece-2865.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far, 3 works, by this artist, have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2012/11/12?comments=visible 

has the prior (the 14 hyperlinks in my comment there have been deactivated, and the line breaks removed, but perhaps the text remains informative).

Alas, the poor queen is NOT flushed with success.

poor prince Federick , the queen had unusually large deposits and is seen with his " break up stick"

Emperor Ferdinand II did need to take clothing advice from Carol Burnett.

Johann’s last words were “I’m tired of this painting. Let somebody else paint the lower half.”. Then he walked off.