That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for February 22, 2022

“Technically it isn’t cheating. Your wife and I thought you were dead when you didn’t come home for lunch.”

Lighten up, Jerry. It was a joke. Nobody thinks your sweater makes you look like a liberal.

Gimme your car keys, Jake. I can tell you’ve been sampling the moonshine.

“Now you know Lucas, the IRS does not take Bitcoin.”

Hillbillies at work.

/// Gunnar’s cousin, Knud, is a curmudgeon.

Always seething and in a high dudgeon.

Now they’re Two Old Men Sitting

in the Shadow, unwitting

that one’s head will soon meet with a bludgeon.

/// Gunnar’d lent to Knud two cords of wood.

Its return, he assumed, understood.

So when Knud still resisted,

this time Gunnar insisted.

Knud hissed, “You’ll get it… you’ll get it good!”

Haiku:

— Unreasonably

harboring long-held secrets.

Not enough whitewash.

Only one more season, Luke. This year we’ll make enough on the harvest so I’ll be able to buy an ox.

Do you ever have that “unfresh” feeling Horace?

There once was a Dane knamed Knut/ a moody, irascible brute/ who , unlike all the rest/ wore a bulletproof vest/ even when they all swore not to shoot../// Poor Knur was completely dismayed/ for he found himself cruelly betrayed/ when his very best friend/ brought his woes to an end/ by means of of a hand grenade..

One of the great classics.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOYZX5404gE&t=6s

“Here’s the deal. We tell our wives that the fish hide during the day while we’re drinkin’. So, we’re gonna’ go fishing at night. Then sneak into town and go drinkin’”.

I told him to fish or cut bait//or he won’t get a thing on his plate//he’s freeloaded for years//he’s a pain in the rear//My wife’s brother is getting the gate!

♫ Old Friends ♪ Old friends ♫ sat on the park bench like bookends ♪

Paul Simon

now that you’ve sprained your neck, hans, greta is even less impressed with that unicycle of yours there…

“I’m 42, have a good job and am looking for a man to love for the rest of my life.”

“…well I, had to get up before sunrise, chop the wood, milk the cows, feed the chickens, then walk 10 miles to school, barefoot, up hill, in a blizzard…”

“I tell you brother, it’s just a fact of life with women! You can’t hardly live with ‘em, but if you shoot ’em you’re automatically the number one suspect!”

In Denmark, I’m told, folks are jolly/ it’s the U.N. says so – that’s not folly/ both of these Danes, my dear/ exude damned little cheer./ you could even call them “melancholy”..

Reminds me of the gradeschool joke, Why do farmers have green thumbs…

I swear Karl, by the time I talked all those women into joining me in the spa, there just wasn’t any room left for you.

“You can stare all day at your imaginary newspaper, but it won’t make the news you want.”

“Put ’er there Jake”

“No way. You just spit in your hand.”

Jake, just because I married your ex-wife and your kids took my last name, doesn’t mean we still can’t be friends.

I’m telling you, Ernesto, all the children are telling the same joke : “Why do Ernesto’s thumbs always stink?” They they hook their thumbs in their armpits and say “Well, I’ll tell ya…..” just like you do.

" Look, Arn, for the last time, I’m telling you he lost fair and square! "

BLIND ERNIE: INSULT ME, WILL YA? PUTCHER FACE OVER HERE! I’LL GIVE A RIGHT AND A LEFT! AND THEN ANOTHER RIGHT!

“And that’s how I got whiplash…watching ’em jiggle like this…”

I don’t get it.

“No, that ain’t how it works at all, Gunder. You put one thumb up, and then I put one thumb up, and that means we’re giving that there motion picture two thumbs up.”

What does this mean?

Man holding vest: I gave up on Agnes. All she wants is sex and more sex! Man with his hand out: So can I date her?

“Ok son, it’s time we talked about how babies are made.”

Two fishermen conversing or Two old men sitting in the shadow: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Carl_Bloch_-_En_Samtale_mellem_to_Fiskere_(1880).jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this roughly B4 paper size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image at 

https://thatispricelessblog.com/2022/02/masterpiece-2883 

and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far 5 works, by this artist, have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2019/11/25?comments=visible 

has the prior (my blog comment here links include the artist info URLs in my comment there).

Okay. Today’s new learning… didn’t know what being “catfished” meant

But at least I kept one of my thumbs … they do come in handy after all.

I didn’t get “catfished” either — here’s the Urban Dictionary explanation: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=catfished

There’s a good Norwegian bachelor joke somewhere in here, but only Garrison Keillor can tell it fore sure.

Ok, Piet, so you bragged….but what did they say when they actually SAW it?

“You expect me to believe that fish was so big that pulling on your line gave you whiplash?”

Well … shoot! There went the bird in the hand.

“Be reasonable, Valdemar, we’re fishermen. How are we going to catch anything if you keep cutting up our fishnets to make stockings?”