Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 30, 2022

“Don’t know” is a perfectly legitimate answer.

we’ll see

If we count the “T” are three words.

A college room mate had little to say I once told her that she could probably give the plot to WAR AND PEACE in under ten words. “Don’t know. Haven’t read it.”

sometimes don’t know is the best answer!

A cryogenics company should freeze someone and put him on display so people could ask a dead guy. The answer still won’t be satisfying.

I would have expected Rat’s all-purpose two-word answer to be a word that starts with F, followed by “you.”

Better than Rat’s alternative response:

Do It

Absolutely nothing.

Why not?

I’m sure of this: it’s either something…….or nothing.

“Who cares?”

Two word answer – “Forty two”.

Mis-information Booth, brought to you by Rats incorporated….

“Life ends” would work just as well.

Some say you become a ghost that haunts everyone who is still alive. Some say that you get reborn as a new person. Personally, I hope I get reincarnated as a Hispanic boy with curls or a mop top.

Rat is not one for deep philosophical and theological of course.

What happens when Rat dies? The world would never be the same…

But there is a two-word answer for where you can find the answers…

Pork Chops

You rot.

For so many centuries mankind has been trying to answer that question, and Rat gets it in one.

You decompose.

Someone has come back from the dead. He said that those who trust him get to be with him and those who don’t, dont.

You rot, like any other road kill.

Likely nothing.

Three-word answers to all questions asked while under oath: “I don’t recall.”

Since “don’t” is merely a contracted form for “do not,” I’d say this answer does not qualify for Rat’s Two Word Answers rule: his whole answer is really three words.

But Rat is not such a stickler for grammar as I: Yours truly, Grammar Police….

No reason to be cross. The question wasn’t even about life.

“Don’t know” is three words.

Forty-two is the answer to everything