That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for April 27, 2022

Marstrand gave the the museum director a professional discount of 100% for his portrait.

Ned; he doesn’t usually drink beer, but when he does he drinks Miller light. He is the most boring man in the world.

Cruella’s grandfather, Callous DeVil, in his signature black lab puppy coat, weighing the options of letting his hair grow.

Well, you look exhausted with our tour of the gallery. Please sit down while I continue to talk endlessly until you’re in a coma.

In veterinarian college, Professor Filbert felt it necessary to instruct his pupils how to properly hold an elephants testicles.

Alas Yorick, I knew him Horatio, he was a ….. eeeeeh … wait a minute …. NOW where did he go … ???

And on the other hand I’ve got warts.

Gustav attempting to launch his hand modeling career.

To avoid negative backlash from controversial emcees, here is the host of the next Oscars.

“It’s called a “Wax Job”. You hold a mans testicles like so. Then hit them with your fist and wax come flying out their ears."

Considering that unfocused stare, / Along with that coat and that hair, / Makes me doubt his perspicacity / In spite of his audacity / In playing a guitar that just isn’t there!

And these are my etchings. Why, what did you think I meant?

In the words of Bill and Ted “Excellent!”

“Farmer’s Insurance – we know a thing or two because we’ve seen a think or two.”

He only could afford half of the stylist’s fee to dye his hair, so he only got half of his hair dyed.

5 buttons, 6 holes, no problem.

“Scene of Imaginary Phallic Art”

A mature Sheldon Cooper explaining that Leonard is going to….“the office”.

“And then I gripped Goliath’s sack in my left hand like so and gave it such a squeeze! Then, after he fell in pain, I clobbered him with a club.”

David on the synagogue lecture circuit trying to correct the popular but inaccurate story about the sling and the rock

" Mardon me padom, but this pie is occupewed. May I sew you to another sheet? There are more chews at the back of the perch. "

“I painted the top of my head to look like hair. So?”

“Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you: Two unsuccessful encyclopedia salesmen.”

“And now it’s disappeared from my left hand. Tada!”

And then, class, when the music ends you romantically dip your dance partner thusly.

The Art Historian N. L. Høyen: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"File:Wilhelm Marstrand - Kunsthistorikeren, professor N. L. Høyen - KMS870 - Statens Museum for Kunst.jpg" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Yandex, Yahoo, Bing, Duckduckgo, and Ecosia search engines) in the address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and click first File: link for info and links that point to more info (best viewed by Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2920 (April 27, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far 2 works, by this artist, have been used here. The May 2, 2019, strip has the prior (my comment there has the artist info URLs pointed to by here links in my blog entry comment).

If his taste in art is anything like his taste in toupees, we should go to the other museum.

Portrait of Mitch McConnell’s grandfather Fredrick Crookshank McConnell, aka Mac the Fence, noted curator of purloined paintings and rare books and upstanding member of the Kentucky KKK.

/// I can’t listen to Niels any more!

He’ll drone on and I’m liable to snore.

Teaching “Physics” or “Art,”

dull and dry from the start.

There’s a reason they call him Niels “Bore.”

What will I be doing in the mornin’? It will look something like this …

After the high five, Niels was left hanging for the low five.

Who is this stately old Swede ?/

The last of a dying breed../

His opinions we need/

Lest the land go to seed/

But he costs a fortune to feed..

I am the model of a modern pompous ass! Deal with it!

“Where is it? Hmm? It was here a moment ago, where is it?”

“Pulleth my finger”

That looks more like the world’s smallest violin.

My hand is empty and so are your jobs. It’s that simple!