That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for May 10, 2022

“Martha! I can’t remember my safe word!”

That’s what you get for catcalling the governor’s wife.

it didn’t seem like an offensive tweet…sorry!

Yeah, those stocks are going to cost you an arm and a leg.

You know, I think I prefer the Roman latrine to the american version.

“But you can keep yo’ hat on…” – Tom Jones

“What the Hell is a ‘NASDAQ’? "

/// Punished by being placed into stocks

isn’t brutal like hammering rocks.

There’s fresh air; not too hot.

Unlike that other spot

locked up into a small airless box.

So I told them, . . Hey, Houdini! Now where’d he go?

♬You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out♬ … Oh! Wait!…

He was thinking outside the box/and his thoughts were unorthodox:/with a strange spontaneity/He doubted the Deity…/And was swiftly consigned to the stocks.

C’mon! It’s one thing to be put in a pillory. But being drawn by the great grandfather of the guy that draws cats is cruel and unusual punishment!

This hole here between my hands is a bit high for my willy.

“My biggest regret is the second helping of prune pudding I had at dinner.”

he needs to take stock(s) of his situation…

And now he’s definitely losing interest.

And it began to dawn on John as they cinched up that maybe today wasn’t the day to try those new fangled thong underwear.

“Now, I know that I may get pilloried for this comment, but…..”

No bathroom breaks here.

He really didn’t like being in stocks, he preferred being a bond age kind of guy.

“Anyway, I’m the wrong color to be in bonds.”

Crap…she told me she wasn’t married!

“Oh, look… my shoes are on the wrong feet. No wonder it hurt so much to walk!”

“She said it was for a hand and foot massage. But I don’t know, still waiting.”

“I wish they’d stop taking off my shoes and tickling my feet.”

Once again, young George is sent to the stocks to learn how to tie his shoelaces.

The Stocks: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Samuel Smith Kilburn" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Yandex, Bing, Yahoo, Duckduckgo, and Ecosia search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and chose the first Category: link found, and once there, find the Stocks text on that webpage, and click the link for info and links that point to more info about this wood engraving.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2923 (May 9, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu. I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to some artist info. First work by him used here.

/// Though the edict he’d broken was recent

‘twas the law; to the stocks he must be sent.

Through a stroke of ill luck

his hat band came unbuck-

-led, and that, we all know, is indecent!

the village was tired of regie masturbating in public so the put him in the stocks so he can’t touch himself, but he still wore no pants.

He looks like he’s a door-to-door salesman.

“The mature young lady is a lady of property. The mature young gentleman is a gentleman of property. He invests his property. He goes, in a condescending amateurish way, into the City, attends meetings of Directors, and has to do with traffic in Shares. As is well known to the wise in their generation, traffic in Shares is the one thing to have to do with in this world. Have no antecedents, no established character, no cultivation, no ideas, no manners; have Shares. Have Shares enough to be on Boards of Direction in capital letters, oscillate on mysterious business between London and Paris, and be great. Where does he come from? Shares. Where is he going to? Shares. What are his tastes? Shares. Has he any principles? Shares. What squeezes him into Parliament? Shares. Perhaps he never of himself achieved success in anything, never originated anything, never produced anything? Sufficient answer to all; Shares. O mighty Shares! To set those blaring images so high, and to cause us smaller vermin, as under the influence of henbane or opium, to cry out, night and day, ‘Relieve us of our money, scatter it for us, buy us and sell us, ruin us, only we beseech ye take rank among the powers of the earth, and fatten on us’!” – Charles DIckens, Our Mutual Friend

Worst manny petty ever.

It doesn’t look any better after Ted Turner colorized it.