That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for June 08, 2022

The pay wasn’t that good, but there were other perks for the door-to-door yoga mat salesman.

Actually, this is from the ‘mediocre moments in phallic portraiture’ collection

‘And when you’re at the market, buy me some shoes that actually fit!’

Sorry sir but that bag has to fit in the overhead bin!

“I have these plans to build a wall to keep the ocean out. The fish are going to pay for it.”

/// This man’s known to be honest, though shrewd.

But the cloth salesman hates being viewed.

He is treated with loathing

because fabric makes clothing,

and the readers here want their girls nude.

“It’s usually a question I ask the husband, but does he have any naked pictures of you? Do you want me to paint some?”

And she apparently can’t keep her eyes off his roll.

Bedroll and backpack. Going camping?

Nuthin’s more a drag than to be hagglin’ with a hag in the mor-or-ornin’…

There’s no nudity here to be had/

No leering, lecherous cad,/

No Latin, no Greek/

Not even a peek/

At a female physique – things are BAD !

The fabric this chap has for sale/

While surprisingly rich in detail/

Is no substitute/

For somebody cute/

Pursued by some brute of a male.

This painting just doesn’t enthrall/

But perhaps the saddest of all/

Is the monotone void/

In which both are deployed/

It’s the background – I hope that’s a wall..

I understand that you sell erotic scrolls sir?

“he’s got a woolen set”just doesn’t do it.

“I don’t know about any more fabric; I’m running out of places to hide my stash from my husband as it is.”

“If it really is that big, I’ll give you this hay penny I have in my pocket.”

The life of a peddler is hard, so I’m told. / One has to be cheerful, persistent, and bold / And keep up the pace / Despite doors slammed in your face. / But the occasional dalliance with lady of the house – that never gets old. ;>)

“It’s easy—you put your left foot in, you take your left foot out. . . you do the Hokey Pokey and you . . .NO! Not that! I am talking about THE DANCE, you naughty thing!”

Green Screen The Early Days: Now ma’am stand here in front of this wall and I shall wallpaper you up a background. It’ll be like you are actually in Paris!

Colonial-era backpack leaf blowers really were not worth the money paid for them.

Quit staring at his sack, lady. His eyes are over there.

“Good sir. We can dance if we want to. But you’ll have to lose the hat.”

A shout out to Men Without Hats’ song, Safety Dance. Because it’s always funnier when a person has to explain the joke…

Excuse me, are you a milf?

Yes, Maam. I’m a Minuteman, but that’s not what it means.

" So tell me, little man, how’s your wallpaper hangin’? "

“Quite a scroll you got there, luv. Need a place to store it?”

He’s having a sale on thread/

He will give it away:

(its his first sale today -

If he doesn’t close this one he’s dead.)

But nuthin could be finer than a really fine “one-liner” in the mor-or-ornin’…

Fabric seller negotiating with a woman: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:18th-century drawings in the Rijksmuseum Amsterdam" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and chose the first Category: link found (perhaps hidden among the Ads), then the next page link above the images, and once there, search for the text onderhandelend and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly US letter size illustration.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2939 (June 8, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there with the sparse info I found about the artist. First work by him/her used here.

You gotta start somewhere! :)

Wanna buy a gram cracker? “A gram of what?”

Forget the phallus, check out that nut sack!

being nearsighted, evanalean thought she saw john’s “thing”, but it was just a rolled-up newspaper, John has delusions of a “happy night”. alas not to be.

well, well – talk about a bolt from the blue…

Hello good sir! What are you selling today?

I was selling pants; but I just sold my last one.

I see. Perhaps you should have kept them on.