Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for June 29, 2022

After a cruise ship fire, they offered a discount, so I went. The juggler was not allowed to use fire.

“Where’s the chainsaw? Last quarter he juggled a chainsaw.”

If he were blowing bubbles while juggling – that would be realistic addition to his division.

Should have relied on the classic but simpler Bullwinkle “Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of this hat” manoeuver.

Fox “news” has an opening for him.

Of course they did not air today’s hearing.

It that an elephant under Carl?A commentary about diverson tactics?

SEC rules and guidelines require this.

Had he spent the time training his act for achieving his divisions dues instead then the results would have earned him more praise, probably.

I was designated king of diversion tactics in high school French. If class didn’t feel they were ready for a quiz they’d have me ask the teacher a question about World War I. He was history buff and the answer always took the whole class period.

Carl? I thought that was Dextre Tripp.

Just drop the manchette, or the broad axe, on the head of the table. Problem solved.

“If you can’t dazzle them with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshyt,” only goes so far.

Jump the shark.

More effective than PowerPoint. But still less popular than a tray of baked goods.

Better be careful or someone will get the axe.

Profits must have sunk like a lead balloon. Got to lay off more employees, so the CEO can keep getting his humongous salary.

Add a label in parentheses Congressional report on the status of the status

Come on, man…

There’s always the fire alarm. I’m just saying.

He must’ve worked in the Trump administration.

I was at a weekly section meeting at work, where we each had to report progress on our projects. I had nothing good to report on mine, and some really bad news that affected others. When my turn came, I looked out the window and said “Wow! Will you look at that!” two thirds of the group turned and looked, so I started to leave the room, but I had to pass by my supervisor to get to the door. He said, “Nice try. Sit back down.” Half the group looked embarrassed, and the other half thought it was funny. I led my report with the worst of my news. I got the hoped for sympathy and even some volunteered assistance. Afterwards, my boss told me, “good tactic, but don’t ever try that again.”

Tune in again, folks, for ANOTHER EXCITING!!!! installment episode of JANUARY 6!! hearings. ……

MULTIPLE CHOICE QUESTION—-

“Who is better behaved?Danae or Donald Trump?

That is a fascinating juggling act, but I would not want to watch directly under it.

ha ha ha

Desperate to improve the ratings for their “Jan 6 Hearings Extravaganza” Show, the Dems hired yet another ex network producer…

Carl’s looking pretty jubilant – must be one helluva report!

Weapons of Mass Distraction