Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for August 12, 2022

Ah yes. I remember reading a Children’s Bible as a kid, and hitting the unexplained word “incest” in there. I asked my mom what it meant, and she freaked out and asked what I was reading. “The Bible.” “…. Oh.”

If “reading” means “comprehension” then those I know who claim to read the Bible every day are just fooling themselves. What they are doing is merely looking at the words.

“Wait, his book isn’t the same as mine! That must mean his book is wrong and mine is right.”

Read and comprehend the book, then become an atheist.

I read it all the time. God-Man is right about the metaphors. It’s no book for idiots.

But does it tell you how to draw Doug and is there a recipe for Gazpacho.

If he’s omnipresent he’s presumably sick of coming everywhere all the time.

♪♫ This land’s not your land

This land’s is my land

I’ve got a shotgun ♪♫

You haven’t got one….

♪♫ If you don’t get off…

I’ll blow your hea-ead off….

This land is Private Property! ♪♫

Well, it IS the MOST Edited, Abridged, Re-written, Condensed, Re-Edited, Re-Rewritten and otherwise adapted collection of Fables, Tall Tales, Myths, Legends, and Campfire Stories in book form EVER!

Well, better than “Maps of Meaning”, or “Atlas Shrugged”. Just kidding; I haven’t read any of them, and they all SUCK.

IT’S A FACT This book has caused more pain and suffering then any other in human history.

https://www.npr.org/2022/04/26/1094740651/florida-man-asks-schools-to-ban-the-bible-following-the-states-efforts-to-remove

https://youtu.be/4pKMV6e5kEo

Recently I did a web search on the question, “How did the earth get populated since Adam and Eve had only two sons?” Many fundamentalist Christian sites have detailed explanations. All involve female children vaguely alluded to and, uh, inbreeding. One site explained that if it involves siblings it’s OK but parent/child is a no no.

Given our attention shortcomings, what would the ‘tldr’ version of the God Man Book look like today? And would it still be a book?

A guaranteed best-seller!

I paid extra for the signed copy.

The strip’s setup instantly brought to mind this classic little animation: https://youtu.be/-evIyrrjTTY