That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for October 28, 2022

/// So Napoléon’s back here again,

shown before Borodino. That’s when

his Grande Armée invaded,

but the Muscovites faded.

The French “won,” but lost thousands of men.

That isn’t a telescope; it’s a brandy flask.

Guy says to his horse; “Napoleon looks well fed.” Horse agrees.

It’s the uniform. Chicks dig the uniform! — Batman

Which way did they go? I must hurry after them, for I am their leader.

Napolean looking for a place where the armies won’t see him running to take a dump because of his diarrhea .

It just makes the wrong impression, ya know…

…having finally managed to extract it from his inside pocket!

I’ve always wondered if Waterloo was redundant. Don’t all loos have water?

“You know I’m in the middle of a war right? I don’t have time for this posing again.”

Well, no wonder Napoleon was losing battles at the end. He had been looking through a kid’s kaleidoscope! Fiber optic colonoscopes were yet to be invented.

Man speaking to horse: “Remember, Ed, hearing a talking horse would be bad enough. Say anything about his height and we’ll all be made into glue.”

YOU again ?

Napoleon yearned to ingest all of Europe

But he got indigestion and with a big burr-up

Got intensely quite nauseous

After crossing the Caucasus,

And Russia gave him a dose of ipecac syrup.

.

Four-hundred thou died in his Russian campaign

To attempt it at all was insane

What was the man thinking

As winter was sinking?

Will Putin fail as well in Ukraine?

The disappointment when you realize it’s too cold for any action at the nude beach

Melcher’s picks lately are like Napoleon’s exile – he just returns.

Ah, that most quintessential of French expressions, the superior sneer.

Another “senior moment”—he had intended to bring along his Shake Weight.

Why yes, that irritating itching around my waist has subsided. Thanks for asking.

Blast! These armies all look alike! Where is mine?

Try Russia

I spy with my little eye……….drat, Wellington is getting reinforcements from Blucher (neigh!)!

They said I could see my house from here. Sadly it’s just my future.

His aerodynamics man was out of favor on the day Napoleon chose his hat style.

This goes to show you the ridiculous lengths Napoleon would go to to make sure he was always the tallest figure in any picture he appeared in.

“According to TripAdvisor, that restaurant should be somewhere around here …"

“So that was borscht. Maybe I should rethink this invasion….”

Nap about to do his classic mike drop.

I can see plainly now…the rains in Spain falls mainly in the plains!

Yawn – time for a little Nappy.

Man, all you folks missed it. That’s Peter Lorre in Halloween costume.

“She closed the blinds.”

Napoleon Before The Battle Of Moscow: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Joseph Franque" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found, and once there find the first Moscow text string, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly lifesize painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3019 (October 28, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to what sparse online info I could find about this artist. First work by him used here.

Napoleon got kicked out of the poker game for hiding a card in his vest.

Biggest lipstick I’ve ever seen. :)

What is that behind Napoleon that looks like an order of large fries?

Napoleon holding a cleverly disguised hip flack of brandy, everyone thought it was a telescope

I am pretty sure his army is right there in his sleevie.

“You put your left foot in . . .”

Even the horse is feeling sorry for him.

They told me Starbucks are so common, I could see one with my telescope from anywhere.

They lied to me!

Now, that paunch. Won’t you surely agree / That it’s somewhat disturbing to see / That it’s round like a cask / So one surely must ask / If he’s now two month’s pregnant, or three?

The more I enlarge this pic, the better it gets! The details are remarkable!

Gonna have to look at his other work when I get to my IPad..

/// See how each soldier’s headgear looks there.

They’ve no “uniform” helmet to share.

There’s a bearskin, a shako,

and a turban. Mistake? No.

Sideways bicornes just Nappy can wear.

The horse has seen it all before. Sigh.

Episode 274