Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for January 05, 2023

No Walmart in NY?….Congratulations, No shoplifting to be bothered with.

Koreans should bring that crosswalk warning light technology internationally.

Namco was worried that vandals would change the P to an F so they changed the name.

That crosswalk light looks like it spans 180º. It should only be 90º and covering only one direction.

NYC food prices and supply costs are too high for Walmart’s typical discounts.

Obviously, that original Pac Man title was too easy to abuse. And that reminds me, where are Silver and Chihal and Eromlig?

There are no Wal-Marts here in Boston, either. The nearest one is in Quincy.

Google sez ‘Several years ago, the people who live in NYC decided to ban Walmart Superstores from the area. This decision was made because it was believed that these huge stores would be a threat to smaller businesses. A similar decision was taken in the cities of San Francisco, Seattle, and Detroit.’

An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone.

He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs, “That’s about average up our way, folks…like I said – my boy’s a typical Irish baby boy.”

Two weeks later the man returns to the bar. The bartender says, “Say, you’re the father of that typical Irish baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren’t you? Everybody’s been making’ bets about how big he’d be in two weeks…..so how much does he weigh now?”

The proud father answers, “Seventeen pounds.” The bartender is puzzled and concerned.

“What happened? He was 25 pounds the day he was born.”

The father takes a slow swig from his Jameson Irish Whisky, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, “Had him circumcised.”

There is no good salsa made in New York City either! At least according to Pace salsa commercials.

Things that you learn and/or experience as you age:

1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

2. To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.

3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.

4. It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.

5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

6. When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

8. I had my patience tested. I’m negative.

9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.

10. If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, “Did you bring the money?”

11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

13. I run like the winded.

14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.

15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”

16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

17. I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

18. When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east.”

19. Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.

20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.

21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.

Sometimes ya just need to laugh!

There is no Walmart in NYC because they didn’t want to pay all the additional taxes that come along with trying to operate a business within city limits.

The name ‘Puckman’ was changed because they were worried that the machines would be vandalized by scratching off part of the “P” to make it an “F”.

Bonus: Marcel Bich invented the Bic lighter. He changed the spelling because so many people mispronounced his name like the female dog.

No need, as the entire city is basically a Walmart.

Take care, may bent-necked Pokemon enthusiast Ho-Seok “Koga Usgil Ttae Wae Nae Mog-e Singyeong-eul Sseunayo” Kimord be with you, and gesundheit.

what the puck?

I say we get rid of those crosswalk lights and cull the herd. Darwinism is underrated.

but there is a Home Depot on 23rd St in Manhattan

There’s no room for a Walmart in NY city…lol

sure hope those folks looking down when the light turns green look both ways … a car could be making a late minute turn

Well then -there is one good thing about NYC…

I’m having trouble picturing a one level Walmart among towering high rises. NYC would consider that a waste of vertical space.

Oh man, I read that first letter of Pacman’s Japanese name as an “F”.

It comes from “paku-paku,” an imitation of the sound of him eating. Basically, he’s Om Nom Nom Man.

Wow. I had no idea. I’ll miss them all.

I saw such an intersection you YouTube earlier this week. It might have been the same one.

A man asked his wife what she’d like for her birthday. “I’d love tobe eight again.” she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her off to the local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, every thing there was. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald’s where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, and her favorite lolly and M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well, Dear, what was it like being eight again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size!!!!!!!

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he’s gonna get it wrong.

Birdman out

I would love to know where to find others profiles so I can check on them. Apparently some of you know how to do this, but I am stymied.

I guess with a name like “Puck Man”, he’d be guaranteed to be smacked about. Could be worse, though. What if they came up with the sickening name of “Puke Man”. Of course, I must resist the obvious other name because children may be watching! ;-p

It’s obvious why there are no Wal-Mart stores in NYC, the ill-dressed denizens do not need to congregate at a particular store! ;-p (Just kidding, of course!)

I’m here for the funnies. Look forward every day to reading a new one written or rewritten by each of you. What makes me sad is the fact that some feel the intense need to be the “honor and repeat” police. If you’ve read it or posted it before, who cares. A lot of us have not seen it. Put your pride in your pocket. If you begin reading something, and you feel it’s offensive ( as I have on occasion) just skip by it. The teacher isn’t going to test you at the end of RBION. There are enough horrible, terrible things going on in this world the we should all be able to find a place to get a chuckle once in awhile. And, if you do change and post an email .. Loop me in.

We don’t like Invaders From Arkansas

The intersections in Japan have sounds to let blind people know when to cross the street.