The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for January 24, 2023

No dear, you’re not just starting, you’ve already looked old for years.

I am

No Gladys, you’re still the same skinny young girl I asked the first date.

All said with fingers crossed behind his back.

She was born looking old!

I hate it when women ask a question than has only one answer they will accept, the classic being “does this dress make me look fat?”

❝ you❜re not starting to look old ❞

❝ but you❜re starting to look fat ❞

Nope! I love life!

He can be right or happy. Choose wisely Brutus.

You told me to say that.

Gosh there’s been a lot of mention of being middle aged these past 7 days. I wonder if this theme is based on real life events.

“These aren’t the answers you’re looking for. Move along.”

The operative word here being “starting.”

Maybe it’s time for her to visit her eye doctor.

You need to warn them that you are going to really give an honest answer – so be sure you want to hear it. I do that to my wife and she genuinely asks my opinion because if I don’t like it – I’ll say so. I do tone it down a bit though – for my sake as well as hers :)

“I’m doing exactly what you asked me to do.”

(How could that possibly be wrong?)

“nah, you started looking old years ago.”

It’s been my experience when asked a question like that, my wife already knows the answer. She wants me to engage with her and confirm what she’s thinking one way or the other. I’ll ask her what she thinks, then we can go from there.

You are NOT starting to look old. Inflection is important.

Gladys, you look lovely dear, just like ya mother.

Compared to your Mother, you look great.

how is he suppose to mean it if you keep questioning his answers? :\

Brutus will live another day.

How can you start something you already achieved…She looks a lot older than when she was 10, 20, or 30…. but doesn’t look old now for when she will be 70,80, or 90!

Gladys, you and Brutus are ageless.

“Nope. You look just as pretty today as the day l first met you.” Best answer you can ever give and who is she to argue with him….

Trust me, there are many questions a woman asks that actually insinuate that if you dare answer truthfully…you are dead. They are retorical questions that insinuate that we do NOT want an answer, but if you do…tread lightly.

Bernadette: Well, is there anything about me you’re keeping inside?

Howard: I’m not answering that, it’s a trap.

Bernadette: So there are things you don’t like.

Howard: And here I am in the trap. You just keep talking, I’m gonna chew my leg off.

Ya think by now he would know better.

I can honestly say Gladys looks the same as the first day I saw her. And this is where that added fat comes in handy, though I wouldn’t tell her that.

Good ole’ Brutus Thornapple, he’s so hen pecked that even Gladys is confused.

No, and you’re butt is not big either…

Brutus:Not it if you don’t want me to say it,

He wasn’t stating a fact, he was following your request.

You’ve looked old for about 10 years :)

No, you’re not starting to look old. You started looking old ten years ago.

Actually that’s a question Brutus answered honestly since aging is an on going process that starts the day you are born.

Gladys delights in putting Brutus in unwinnable situations. As do Mama Gargoyle and Veebs. Which is, of course, what one gets as a Born Loser.

No, you told me to say that…

Hey, Thorny, from this point on you must be very, VERY, careful!!!

What did I say?

It’s kind of wrong to ask a man to say something nice when you feel insecure. Get dressed up, make a nice dinner, and if he doesn’t say something nice, even if it’s just about the dinner, well, get creative.

Tread very lightly here.

Not always easy, being supportive.

Look into her eyes, Brutus, give her your most sincere smile, and tell her, “No, dear, I’m not just saying that.” And mean it. (And give her a kiss while you’re at it.)

He would never “just” say that.