That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for February 08, 2023

“I’m not sure we can hold off the waves with a knife!”

“I told you I don’t like the cut of your jib, now I’m going to do something about it.”

I think this is the promotional poster for Brokeback Ocean.

You think I’m scared of you? I’ve seen bigger knives on my grandma’s dining room table.

You gotta do what you gotta do, whenever it needs to be done.

So I guess the Flex Seal wasn’t made for a storm Bob? So much for the screen door on the bottom of the boat!

/// Their ship sinks in the rough ocean’s spew.

Climbing rigging is all they can do.

Randy promised to Chris

he’d perform a quick bris.

Drowning, Chris wants to die as a Jew.

“Man in Rigging,” 1918

I know I promised to let you choose our roleplay tonight if you do the dishes, but couldn’t we have do this in the bubble bath like last time?

“The Sea Spiders of Brobdingnag”

In one of their last Adventures, The Hardy Boys, Frank and Joe, invented a Time Machine that went into the Past, all right; but it also strayed sideways into an Alternate Reality. It emerged into the world in which Gulliver travelled, in which all the various strange countries actually exist.

Pictured here is their close call in Brobdingnag — the strange land of Book 2 in Swift’s story. (The people are 12 times our height, and most objects are in proportion that way.) Frank investigates the high cliffs along the edge of the large peninsula and discovers what he thinks are the masts and riggings of wrecked ships.

But they are actually the webs of Sea Spiders that capture and devour unwary whales. Trapped in such a sticky web, Frank is terrified as a spider the size of a military Hummvee crawls down its cable-thick strands to wrap and exsanguinate him. His brother Joe attempts to free him with his trusty old scout knife. (Naturally, he succeeds just in time!) Other exciting adventures follow for the “Boys” in the country of those giant humans.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brobdingnag#Geography

Given the state of the ocean, and of their ship, Ted thought Rod’s sense of vengeance was a tad over developed.

Negotiations to get ‘’Call me Ishmael" reinstated aren’t going so well….before you know it he’ll be caught in the rigging and going down with the ship!

I think he needs a bigger boat.

“This boat is not big enough for the both of us so I am going to cut you down to size”

Jack, no! This is not the time to get the splinter out of my inner thigh!

You’ve probably never seen/

A mohel with a practice marine/

But foreskins abound/

On both seas and dry ground/

In the “head” and in the latrine..///

All agree that a circumcision/

Is a task demands precision/

If the cut is too deep/

The victim may reap/

A lifetime of endless derision..///

The pitch and the roll of the ship/

May cause an unfortunate slip/

Of the razor sharp blade/

And mistakes may be made/

Removing far more than the tip!///

So hail to the maritime mohel:/

And his “supertesticular” toil!/

May his praises be sung/

By the old and the young/

When he exits this “mortal coil”!

Mark Trail, sinking another boat.

Wait, I thought you were bringing a life jackets……….

I can’t remember. Is it “the person coming up has the right of way, or is it the person coming down?”

Seawater cleanses and sanitizes injuries.

Talk about playing hard to get. . .!

Ah, yes, that Rock Hudson-Errol Flynn vehicle, Cowboys of the High Seas.

“The appetizers need to ready in half an hour, and, no matter how drunk you are, I’m gonna teach you how to carve the radishes into those cute little floral shapes.”

“Jack stop! There’s no such thing as High Sea oysters.”

So, I says to myself, how hard can a cable guy’s job be?

“When you asked me if I’d like to have some oysters, I assumed you meant at Red Lobster.”

I don’t think Larry is the most concerned one between them

GUY MUMBLING THROUGH THE KNIFE IN HIS MOUTH: WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO CLIMB A ROPE LADDER????

Join us for now for, The Further Adventures Rabbi Goldman – Danger Mohel!

“nd y ddn’t rlze tht I t d mself t th bt wth rope”

(Confession: that is a verbatim quote when I had ChatGPT help me with this when I used the following query:How would I type the sentence “And you didn’t realize that I tied myself to the boat with a rope” as if the speaker were mumbling because his mouth was obscured?)

Man in Rigging: 

After clearing the browser cache (at least Google requires that for this to work), paste (including the quote marks) 

Fischer 1918 "Man in Rigging" site:fineart.ha.com 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, and Ecosia search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first https://fineart.ha.com link found for info about this auctioned roughly jumbo envelope size painting. Since less than 70 years have elapsed since the artist passed, copyright restrictions prohibit me from posting an image of this artwork to Wikimedia Commons.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3076 (February 8, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

you said you have crabs, I didn’t know they were the little ones, so i guess there is a change of plans for dinner

the light here is good take down your pants, you want a trim, right?.

the title is man in rigging, but i see two men in the rigging. and from the looks of it, the rigging is going down with the rest of the ship…

I don’t care what the rules are, I’m going up the down staircase!

For tomorrow:

He’s ever so willing to share/

The occasional flocculent flare/

Of a viral attack/

That creeps into the crack/

And forever lingers there…

Man on top: “You call that a knife? This is a knife.” (Dramatically draws huge bowie knife, loses grip on ropes, and falls to his death.)