Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 09, 2023

Who hurt you, Stephan?

Sadly, most people are not in my hurry!

If it’s a text message, replace ‘days’ with ‘minutes’.

I sometimes go a different route: “No news is good news.”

How about the apathy phase where you just give a ****?

These days, with social media, a lot of people are always in Phase 8.

poor pig

Don’t send anyone any things or any messages. Problem solved.

I ordered my father something from Amazon. The delivery person left the parcel on his back step. He didn’t know what it was so he threw it away without opening it.

Now I live in Phase 4 forevermore.

Had a package ordered from a person, person gave me a FEDEX tracking number, marked as delivered, never got it, called FEDEX I had gotten a phony tracking number! Got a refund, though, after much effort!

Someone must have ghosted Stephen. Happy Easter everyone!

Rat must have a huge Napoleon complex to write about all that stuff.

I can relate to Pig.

Me when it comes to online dating

Facebook is the Tool of the Devil and Tic Tok is owned by the Chinese.

We have all kinds of ways to communicate nowadays and no one ever returns a confirmation of getting your message. Steve/Rat has it right.

Paranoia sets in about now….it’s not you it’s THEM! It’s ALWAYS them!

I’m currently experiencing something like this, except it has to do with my insurance company. Early last month I was in a car accident where someone ran a red light and t-boned my vehicle as I was making a left turn. It was determined the other driver was at fault and the claims adjuster determined my vehicle was a total loss, so now I’m waiting for the insurance company to pay the damages so I can get another car.

Must be the gingham.

Phase 4 onward seems a bit ridiculous.

Happy Easter, everybody!

Yes, when will they send a thank you for my gift in 1997!?!?

I wonder the actual length of time Rat had in mind.

I used to always be stuck in phase 4. But now I’m wondering if that was the right thing to do.

I ask people all the time where I work to follow up with us in a certain time frame, though they don’t seem to; the ball is just in their court. And though this a non sequitur, Happy Easter.

What’s important to you, may be insignificant to someone else. You got to let them know what it means to you.

This is about Harry & Meghan ignoring their invite to the coronation – right?

Phase Nine: Tell everybody in the world how to live their lives. After all, you are smarter than they are

I settled in with Pig long ago.

Not me, a long surviving AT&T middle manager of downsizes and corporate breakups and resurrection. If the SOB was my level, and after many days, emails, and phone calls, I penned a nastygram from my boss’ boss to their boss’ boss. Immediately worked like a charm, and hopefully again at their rating time.

This is a good one.

Thank you Stephan, absolutely Brilliant, Profound and funny. Once in a while you really hit it out of the park and this was an out of the park homer. Or for football fans, a 100 yard touchdown run. Or socce…

phase 0: set a reminder on your calendar or you’ll miss phase 1

By the time I get to Phase eight, I can’t remember who the ‘someone’ was nor what the ‘something important’ was!!!

And all this was just the first time Pastis sent in samples to the syndicate at GoComics.

I’m impressed with Pig’s unassuming insight into himself!

Phase Five isn’t that funny, Pig.

Good for Pig, even if stuck in Phase 5, because he short-circuits Rat’s rant….

Poor Pig.

Yes, by RAT, and NOT a certain Stephan Pastis… (and I’m with Pig… sigh)