Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for July 11, 2023

we need to invent a nose muffler somehow coz i have the same problem in the family (not me)

My son thinks I do it on purpose. I can’t help it. I inherited it from my dad.

My husband thinks I sneeze loudly on purpose. It hurts when I try to contain my sneezes, so I just let them happen. Meanwhile, when my husband sneezes I am left wondering, was that a cough or a sneeze, because they always sound like coughs.

You’re supposed to say Gesundheit.

Both of us sneeze loudly and with considerable force.

Sneezing always seems to jiggle the volume button up.

Is there an acceptable volume for sneezes? I doubt it.

Then, when his sneezes start to lose their volume, you had better start to worry, because he’s probably on his way to leaving this mortal coil.

Quick! Up his life insurance!!!

Same goes for my wife. Sometimes so sudden and loud, shocks the bejeezers outa me.

Who says sneezes are nothing to sneeze at, Aunty?

Don’t hold back a sneeze. You could rip out the roof of your mouth or send an eyeball flying.

I’ve never been one of those who sneeze and all you hear is a soft “achoo,” while I try not to be obnoxious about it, if I sneeze, it is fairly loud.

My wife sneezes so loud that when she does we get a call to keep the noise down from the International Space Station. ;-)

I have sinuses the size of Carlsbad Caverns. I can set off a car alarm at 50 paces. One time I sneezed at work and a coworker emailed me a “gesundheit” from the other side of the building.

My snoring is also epic. They don’t measure it in decibels, they use the Richter scale.

Sneezes can change over time. Mine used to be pretty mild, but when my child sneezed I would offer her a towel, and it was loud. Now I am louder and she is milder, but I don’t need a towel.

He probably has several times but you do not remember them as they were not memorable.

Bless you, Walt.

Is that Walt, or Jimmy Durante?Aaaa-chaaa-chaaa-chaaa!

Needs a cat if she wants a sneeze that please.

Aunty, never in your husbands life has he ever heard you speak at an acceptable volume.

If I try to suppress my sneeze, I throw my back out.

Lovely Aunty – skinny today – fat tomorrow.

Okay, is it just me or does his shirt look off for some reason. I’m all about the seersucker, but there is just something disturbing about that.

I was descending in a casino elevator in Laughlin Nevada, and had to sneeze. I suppressed it. I sneezed upon exit and 6-7 separate strangers blessed me. Friendly Town!

As a youngster, when my father explained the facts of life to me, he said it builds up and ends like a sneeze.

Man who watch himself sneeze get snot on the mirror.

Trying to suppress the volume level of a sneeze can do more harm.

I have a friend whose sneeze is rather petite, but loud. It sounds like someone stepped on a cats tail.

Wow, Aunty Acid got her letter in Dear Abby today:

https://www.uexpress.com/life/dearabby/2023/07/11

(Letter #3)