Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 10, 2023

Squirrels are 100% made from nuts, but people still think they are endearing.

The same can not be said for people (especially not politicians)

Problem is he is the only boy you can tolerate, may or not matter some day.

She could either take over or walk away and not look back.

Time to leave.

“I’m sorry, but your Squirrel Study is above my paygrade.”

Wiley should have finished Jeremy’s sentence with “while I go take a….”, leaving off the last word.

Well, little girl, I’m a guy and while I’ve investigated some pretty weird things, squirrel poop wasn’t one of them.

Be like the bears, go in the woods

There is a whole branch of science devoted to studying poop. It’s called scatology or coprology. It’s one of the few ways paleontologists can determine what extinct animals ate.

Given the plethora of derived additives and flavorings contained in modern foods, scatologists eons hence will have no clue as to what humans actually ate. But, on the other hand, due to those same inclusions, they likely will be able to find lots of well pickled remains of human organs.

Come on, Danae; Jeffrey is your friend, help him out.

I can attest that squirrels do defecate. They just are particular about where they deposit their waste.

I once lived in a condominium complex that had lots of semi-tame critters visit our balconies. I used to feed the squirrels and birds raw peanuts.

The neighbor above me hated the “little grey rats with bushy tails”. Guess where they went to shell their peanuts and poop? Not on my balcony!

Yeah, squirrels and dolphins are interesting, but they will happily watch us self-destruct as well. It’s entertaining for all.

Squirrels poop while up in the tree, for privacy, and so they don’t have to flush.

If you’re going to ask where they go in the winter, when trees lack leaves, I say, Evergreens.

Three days?!?! Any other comments I make would be TMI

I love the image of the squirrel running away with toilet paper attached.

He must be getting grant money from the govt.

Squirrels are supreme acrobats who can put The Wallendas to shame.

Jeffrey is missing the very obvious correlation here, as he excuses himself to do his own business…

Squirrels do indeed poop, Jeffrey. They merely want some privacy, just like you do, so they don’t do it in front of you.

And that should be a lesson to all the dogs out there.

I am pleased to report that no squirrels have ever seen me poop, either.

Jeffrey’s life could stand a little excitement if he spends part of it studying the excretory habits of squirrels.

Maybe they’re more like cats in that respect. They bury their business.

See?? HE doesn’t want to do ‘it’ while people are looking, either!