Andy Capp by Reg Smythe for May 24, 2023

Once Flo drags you out of there

Andy heard they passed the bar in there…

O’ dear Lord.

My wife got on me all the time about my Cigarette smoking. She had COPD. Three packs a day. Never said anything about my beer drinking. So in 1994 I had heard enough. I stopped smoking cold turkey. And not smoked since and never drink another drop of alcohol since either. Guess my cigs and beer went hand over hand. She passed away in Mar this year. I am so glad I stopped. It helped her health and of course mine. Now I got no real bad habits and no one to correct me if I did. I do miss her. 23 great grands and two great greats. And I still live alone. It’s the way she wanted it. She could not take the commotions. The silence is deafening to me. 4 bedroom home with 6 acres. At least Andy and Flo got each other. For better or worse.

That’s Pub-lic Intoxication Guv…

Makes sense.

The judge must be new to that courtroom.

remember judge, you set him up

I think that by the time Andy is done. The Judge will be Ale-ing.

I hope someone brought pretzels or peanuts. Maybe little snack sausages, Pickleled eggs?

Andy is incorrigible! And we wouldn’t have it any other way. :D

Thanks for the classics Eldo!

Andy’s worst nightmare isn’t being held without bail, it’s being held without ale.

The first pint is on you. And the second. And the etc etc etc Dilly! Dilly!

Funny

Yes, Judge, when do we start drinking?

Andy wants to start with the “excessive” part.

I’d start drinking again.

I didn’t realize excessive boozing was a crime, it’s usually what you do after excessive boozing. But that’s the way the joke worked.

ba dum tss

Henny Youngman, 1968

What else could he say?

I’m going to echo what Pcolli has said a couple of times.

“British judges don’t use gavels”

I’ve just noticed he hasn’t commented for 4 months. I believe Gweedo was going to call him last Sunday. Hope all is OK with him.

xxx

{eye roll}

Yep, you got it! When do we start…

Judge: Order in the court

Defendant: I’ll have a gin and tonic

Maybe Andy heard about sidebar discussions.

Even Horace Rumpole couldn’t get Andy off.

Passing the bar doesn’t mean what you think it means, Andy.

Andy would fit perfectly into this Golden Oldie:

Host (to early guest): It’s only six o’clock! I told you to come after dinner!

Guest: That’s what I came after!

The magistrate wouldn’t be so upset except he knows Andy will never buy a round.

Will “The Overlords” let me say Cockamamie Colourist? Dyeing the bands bright blue, indeed.