Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for August 04, 2023

It is man’s prerogative – and woman’s – to create their own particular and private hell.

~ Welcome to the Twilight Zone Jff

Most of us Y-chromosome carriers refer to our dangly bits as something much bigger than molecules, but, yeah, I guess Jff knows he can’t fool Pmm.

“It rearranged my molecules…and afterwards I had to hide the bedlinens before my mother found them!”

Just in case anyone is wondering, that certainly is not an actual paying customer at the Komix Korner counter. That’s the shop’s new landlord, who bought the building after Montoni’s pizzeria downstairs closed, serving DSH John with legal papers and warning him that he can’t pay the back rent he owes with slabbed copies of “Brother Power the Geek” No. 1.

Look at the love in Jeff’s eyes. “You rearranged my molecules! Your skin, so soft and warm—Unlike that of WE, the Lizard-Men of Quidnunc! Change your skin molecules to cold and scaly or we’re over! HSSSSS” (chases a large tasty bug)

no comment.

“HSSSS! Hi guys, it’s me, Lizard-Man Jeff! Humans, do you wish your mate to not devour your head on your year-mating date? Every anniversary, tell her she’s almost as good as a 60 year old comic book! Works every time! HSSSSS”

My kingdom for a flamethrower.

You did?

I would hope that she still does

Think I’ll tell my wife I like the way she rearranges my molecules

“Look, honey—It’s the same omnibus I just bought at Comic-Con. In fact, they’re all here. I didn’t have to travel across the country and spend hundreds of dollars after all! Oh, well.”

I only thought he had one molecule.

Batiuk and Davis are either comic geeks themselves or do good research. Qward was actually a planet that Green Lantern visited, an anti-matter version of OA, the planet of the Guardians of the Universe who created the Green Lantern Corp. Qward was first mentioned in Green Lantern (vol. 2) #2 (October 1960).

Now that’s a phrase that absolutely nobody ever says.

A wife of many years would never go to a place like that or even fake any interest in it.

Comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, Ed Crankshaft, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics, comics…

I’m loving this story arc.

Ew… gross. This is rearranging my stomach contents.

Hey! This isn’t ‘The Born Loser’. I must have made a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

Brown Chicken Brown Cow

If this were Funky Winkerbean, tomorrow’s strip would feature Pammy and Jeffy in a feeding frenzy downstairs at Montoni’s.

A Funky Winkerbean story arc last Fall featured the closing of Montoni’s and an auction of all assets. During the penultimate week of the strip, Montoni’s unexpectedly reopened with a brand-new fleet of shiny pizza delivery vehicles, all warmed up and ready to navigate wintry roads the weather services advised drivers to stay off.

So, is Montoni’s open for business in the Crankiverse? With the merger of the two strips and all the Timemop nonsense, who knows? ¯\(ツ)/¯ (“It’s called writing!”)

It would be interesting to see how Dan Davis’s portrayal of Monotoni’s differs from Chuck Ayers’s vision. Would the pizza still resemble a yellowish triangular blob with black chunks? Would Davis make the characters hold the pizza in the peculiar Ayers manner? A hot pizza lying flat in the palm with all four fingers curled around the crust must be incredibly awkward. Especially if the pizza is scalding hot or flops over, causing all the toppings to slide off and land in your lap.

Haha! XD