Reality Check by Dave Whamond for August 01, 2023

High maintenance

No, but I can add it to next week’s order.

I guess it wasn’t that spicy. I’d suggest some bread – gluten-free.

Prima donna

Must have been pumpkin spice.

I once had a Nagah curry in a UK Indian restaurant… I literally lost my voice for several seconds… The cure was lassi… a yoghurt/buttermilk based drink… Never, never drink cold water… it will make it worse…

No, but I could probably get you some wood milk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNiGhPXObZA

Lewis Black do soy beans have teats?

Lactose Intolerant?

She looks like she’s all right already.

I’d be tempted to say “Yes, We have soy, but you can’t have any.”

I’m seeing a milk shampoo coming in 3… 2… 1…

I’ve thought of buying some soy milk just out of curiosity. But I hate having to throw food out after just taking one taste.

Beggars can’t be choosers, lady.

Hot mommas can’t be choosers at a time like this…drink

As people with dairy allergies will attest, this is SO not funny, nor are many of the insensitive comments. I don’t usually care, but, MAN, these tick me off.

She’s primed for a Hot Toddy

with a Carolina Reaper garnish …!

No, you do not need any more estrogen.

Reminds me of this:

https://archive.org/details/mad-magazine-collection2/Mad%20Magazine%20161/page/n49/mode/2up

I’ve heard it said that if you eat food that’s too spicy, a cold beverage is one of the LAST things you want to consume in order to “put out the fire”. A piece of fresh fruit or a slice of fresh bread does the job far better.

@Dave Whamond:

I can just hear Chuck Berry singing the title of one of the three “children’s books” advertised here! d;o)

How about soy sauce instead?

“I’ll just take it back and get you some water.”

Does soy milk help put out the capsaicin fire?

I have a dairy allergy too, girl. Speak your power!