Close to Home by John McPherson for October 02, 2023

Bad idea for all concerned.

I came home one afternoon to find a black fish swimming in the aquarium, where there had previously been a gold one. I asked my wife where the new fish came from. She was embarrassed that I had noticed and said that she had found the fish dead on the floor beside the tank and wanted to replace it before I noticed. Because the fish had turned black, she mistakenly bought a black fish instead.

It’s much easier to say that Pickle ran off to live on a farm and did not want to return.

“Kids, aren’t you glad that he is happier now that he is with other whatever Pickles is?”

This is the first time they’ve tried to do this – it’s their guinea pig.

WHATS FOR SUPPR-GROUND HOG!

Well, it’s a 2017 pre-Bleeb rerun, so time for one of Granny’s dishes:

Pickled Hog Jowls with Turnip Greens

Jed might have said: “Weeell Doggies, that’s showin’ more colors than a red rooster in a pumpkin patch!”

Also… Green Plaid Alert! Everybody do a shot! It’s Mojito Monday!

Poor pickle.

I always found it just silly when this sort of thing would come up in a sitcom or whatever. My folks both came from farming families, and pets were considered a good way to learn about biology, life, and of course death. We also didn’t have this stupid modern notion that animals were members of the family like our brothers and sisters, or in any other sense equal to humans. It was a very sad thing when a pet died, but that was part of life and you got over it.

Oil paints take forever to dry. They should have gone with hair dyes.

The lesson of “circle of life” will again have be taught by the “Lion King” to another American family of city folks.

In their native country Guinea Pigs are raised for food. Spit roasted, mmmmmmmmm. And their pelts make nice gloves and mittens.

Make sure it’s permanent paint

Always buy monochrome hamsters.

They’re not taking Guinea chances.

A twist on the old saw about putting lipstick on a pig.

True story: my brother in law let his daughter’s hamster die while she was on vacation (he forgot to feed it!). He bought another one at the pet shop.She never noticed.

How long before they realize they just aren’t as playful as they used to be.

Thank goodness it’s not Mr. Danders!!!!!!!! :)

Apparently life imitates life – and death.

This one brought tears to my eyes, and not from laughter. My son had a Guinea Pig and she was a lovable pet. She loved to be held and petted, would just sit there and snuggle. If she had to go to the bathroom, she would walk up from her snuggle spot and nudge my chin to let me know. I would then either set her on a newspaper or back in her pen and she would do her business. Afterward, she would walk over to me and “wheek” at me to pick her back up. When it was her time to go, I was the one holding her until her last gasping breath, after which I cried terribly. It was then that I decided it was best that I didn’t own any more pets as it really tears me up to have to let them go. I live through others’ pets now. I will greet every dog that crosses my path when out for a walk, as well as every cat that plops itself down in my path. And I still get choked up when someone tells me of their pet’s passing.

Omg….horrible idea!

Oh No! Pickle has crossed the Rainbow Bridge! Always rough on a kid, coming home from a hard day at school to that.

This is a case of art imitating life.

If he makes a mistake, do they have Brown-Out to correct it?

Just tell them the facts of life and death. Unless, of course, when mum or dad dies the survivor paints up someone else……

Why can’t these parents just say the news??