Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for December 08, 2023

Lucky she didn’t suddenly gain a sombrero and/or Mickey Mouse pants.

What about the risk of indigestion?

Friend don’t trick friends into eating expired food.

This gives off the same energy as a “First friend to fall asleep at a sleep-over” video.

Feeding her beans expired over 3 decades? UNICORN!

They’re not completely uncool.

1980s styles of cool and awesome never go out of style.

Kids don’t let your unicorn feed you expired beans

Wait until Phoebe experiences the final “report” from the beans, it may be cool or not!

Is this like donating expired food to a homeless shelter? A few hours later Phoebe’s bedroom will smell like something expired in 1986.

I just rewatched the Doctor Who episode “The Empty Child,” from the Christopher Eccleston era, where a zombie-like plague had gas masks growing out of the faces of the afflicted. Proper nightmare fuel, and inevitably influenced how I imagined the transition from panel 2 to panel 3.

Dana is making hell for anyone who wants to translate her comic. I can’t imagine how I’d translate this to Norwegian.

Are you my mommy?

A can of beans that makes you cool by 80s standards? So she has a huge Star Wars collection, She-Ra Underroos, , Michel Jackson Tapes with a boom box, Skateboarding skills, a competed deck of Garbage Pail Kids cards including on es named after her friends, A Tedy Rupin , a My Pet Monster, a solved Rubix Cube , a boke with a basket in front and an ET plushie, Tickets to see Bigfoot at the monster truck Rally, her parents let her see an R rated movie, she knows at least 5 swear words, She has a early release copy of Super Mario Bros 3 and a game winning football Autographed by OJ Simpson ?

“The future’s so bright, I have to wear shades.”

Phoebe with the Big Hair look. Mind boggling. Or is that brain damaging?

Marigold, why did you feed her those expired, rotten beans?

Uh, Marigold, you might have led with that expiration date thingy.

Phoebe Headroom.

Well, free shades at least.

Ah, 1980s hair. With tons of Aqua Net hairspray. LOL!

Expired beans? Well, she going to be seeing something other than sparkles in a few hours…

1986 was a good year. Mostly because of Top Gun. Do you feel the need for speed, Phoebe?

So bad. I would love to see Phoebe with that kind of extreme hairstyle.

Wait, what’s the “freshness date” on that Awesome Sauce? It could be… skunky!

As long as the seal was good she should be fine, but I don’t think they would have tasted very good. There’s a Youtube channel where a guy cooks up and eats old army rations from World War II.

Imagining Phoebe with a Farah Fawcett Majors doo.

God, I need some of that, expired or not.

Phoebe, check your pants. Do they flare out below the knees?

Like Corey Hart, Phoebe wears her sunglasses at night!