That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 05, 2023

The widow decided to honor her late husband’s memory by having a bust made of herself.

/// Buxom redhead in velvety green

made a sculpture no one had yet seen.

She’d invite well-known men

for an unveiling, then

all of Paris would know Belle Poitrine.

This was harder than you think. Have you ever tried giving a perm to hair made out of stone?

“It’s a really good likeness of Hariet. By the way wherre is Hariet? We haven’t see her for several days now.”

When your skirt gets caught in your crack/

There’s no need for a heart attack:/

Do not be amateurish:/

Pull i out with a flourish-/

And invite them in for a snack!

When you’re ever so upper crust/

And you’re feeling supremely unjust/

Let nobody say/

You threw money away../

You can always commission a bust..//

In Finland, a sculptor of skill/

For an adequate recompense will/

Under sunshine or drizzle/

Apply hammer and chisel/

To pretend you’re not run of the mill..

Busted.

I’ll say it looks real John made a pass at it three times today.

The carriage set has a very strict dress code.

She hoped the sculpture would distract them enough so that she could finish scratching her backside.

It didn’t.

She is busted.

This old thing? Just something I saw in the window!

Does this bust make my butt look big?

“So here’s the trick, girls … at night I put this bust, with a dressmaker’s dummy under the covers in my bed, then sneak out. In the dark, my folks can tell the difference!”

A very long time ago the stupidvisor of a friend used a very life-like doll of an infant in an attempted ruse to take advantage of carpool lanes. She was caught, fined and had her license suspended for 6 months.

“You think your hip hurts …”

At first, it was just from the neck up, but the artist remembered I told him to include all my best assets.

When Marie came into her trust/

As a woman of property must/

That very same day/

without any delay/

She promptly commissioned a bust..///

The sculptor she hired was skilled/

Her high expectations fulfilled/

He disguised her worst flaws/

(She had ponderous jaws)/

And Marie was accordingly thrilled-///

Marie quickly called for her friends/

(Who were certain to be at lose ends)/

Being wealthy and free-/

(As we’re all bound to be-/

Or so “trickle down” theory contends)///

When her friends came, they both were well dressed/

By the bust they were duly impressed/

But Marie dressed in haste/

(Though in excellent taste)/

When they left, poor Marie was distressed!///

Now all Paris is fully aware/

Of the shape of Marie’s derrière/

Her “friends” loudly declare/

(“We have seen her, ma chére !”/

That Marie – walks around “en plein air”! )

“I asked the sculptor for a little head…”

Which one of the four is it?

If you think this is lifelike, you’ll love to see the ‘personal item’ I had made for me.

Five minutes passed, then ten, then twenty. Finally, the two gave up: There was no way to tell which was more pale.

“Yes, it’s plaster. Making the mold was horrendous.”

The Bust: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Paintings of busts" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string Cain, and click its link for info and links that point to more info (perhaps best viewed using the Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox browsers, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3231 (December 4, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. Only work by him used here so far.

The Bust was life-like but very pale

It was ever displayed but never for sale

Why did Madame Mysteria like it so much?

She allowed no one to get close and touch.

.

Dressed all in black, as her standard attire

She claimed her old husband long ago did expire

She revealed the bust as an old family heirloom,

(Yes — For the family heir it spelled certain DOOM!)

.

Amelia and her friend, Sophia were invited to tea

The creepy bust sculpture displayed prominently.

The dowager Mysteria had spiked their Earl Grey,

For she intended a horror to occur on that day!

.

Amelia had been raised nearby as a poor orphan child

By a family in town, her demeanor pleasant and mild.

But Mysteria knew her blood origin true:

That she was a foundling, yet the family heir, too!

.

Mysteria was determined to siphon her soul.

To transfer it to the Bust was her ultimate goal.

The life energy obtained, as it shot through the air

Could be sipped on its way from Amelia to there.

.

But Sophia had perused eldritch local lore,

Thought Mysteria a witch who should practice no more.

So before the the vile deed could start to take place,

Sophia took up a hammer to smash the bust apace!

.

Amelia was saved, the ancient witch foiled,

Her black-clad body collapsed as dust roiled!

The young girls each married, happiness to reign

In that house that had seen such horror and pain!

Her nefarious plot was foiled/

when her black clad body recoiled/

At the sound of the hammer/

And a-tro-ci-ous grammar/

And cuticles ragged and soiled. ;)

“The Bust,” date unknown

Next month they will send me an arm. Eventually I hope to have all the pieces and put it together.

We had a few Busta Rhymes here today …

Well, that idea’s a bust.

For Wednesday: ain’t she sweet? With attractions she’s replete../

She’s cute and petite /

and there’s wheat around her feet:

Ain’t she sweet?///

Ain’t she nice?/

Would you like to try a slice? /

You might meet her price/

but she won’t go for rice/

ain’t she nice ?///

Just cast an eye-in her direction../

You’ll know why I- have this“€£€tion”..///

Ain’t she she sweet?/

She will not concede defeat/

She has far too much charm/

To remain on the farm../

Ain’t she sweet?

Her shoulder is throbbing with pain/

And the reason is visibly plain:/

Her rotator cuff/

Has had more than enough:/

I hope she can stand the strain!

Floor Is Lava (carpet is safe).