Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for December 29, 2023

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    Ratkin Premium Member 11 months ago

    Expiration date: 13 years from now

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    allen@home  11 months ago

    Good instructions.

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    chief tommy  11 months ago

    every parent needs to heed this. wish I had

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    Shikamoo Premium Member 11 months ago

    Best instructions ever.

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    seanfear  11 months ago

    ok ok – now how to turn the volume down?

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    Yakety Sax  11 months ago

    From NOT ALWAYS RIGHT: Ah, To See The World Through The Eyes Of A Child

    I like to tell the story of planning my daughter’s seventh birthday party. She had two friends in our apartment complex who both had two-year-old sisters, and she wanted to invite both children and both siblings. Then, she stopped and got very concerned.

    Daughter: “But… the babies…”

    My wife and I were going, “Oh, thank God she’s realized she doesn’t want actual babies at her party.”

    Daughter: “They’re both the same age and have the same hair! How will you tell them apart?”

    One child was white with brown curls. The other was Black and had natural hair.

    I really didn’t want to have to explain how and why it was certain we’d never confuse the two children.

    2nd one: When It Comes To Gift-Giving, She’s Got The Eye Of The Elephant

    My youngest niece hates it when I tell this story about her. But it was so dang adorable that I can’t help it! When she was four years old, we were having a Christmas party. She heard us talking about exchanging White Elephant gifts. For those that don’t know, a White Elephant gift exchange is when you give someone kind of a joke gift — like if someone turned fifty and you gave them a deck of huge cards because “their eyesight is bad”.

    Anywho, my niece heard us talking about doing the gift exchange.

    Niece: “Can I do it, too?”

    Me: “Sure, if you want! Why don’t you go find something in your room to give?”

    My niece ran off to her room and returned a few minutes later holding a stuffed animal, tears in her eyes.

    Niece: “I don’t have a white elephant. I have a white tiger. Will that work instead?”

    She was so dang cute! She is in her twenties now, so she groans and rolls her eyes when we tell the story. But it is a precious memory to all of us who were there.

    Not my stories.

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    Macushlalondra  11 months ago

    Could someone go back to the day I was born and give this to my mother?

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    Gent  11 months ago

    Mama bears is needs no instructions. Bears is smarter than average hyoomins.

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    Darryl Heine  11 months ago

    Baby New Year?

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    Huckleberry Hiroshima  11 months ago

    No expiration date.

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    ladykat  11 months ago
    A lifetime commitment.
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    mac04416  11 months ago

    Instructions is one thing, it’s the owner’s manual that they lost for all three of mine.

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    dflak  11 months ago

    You do not have to be the perfect parent. Kids will cut you a lot of slack if they know that you are trying.

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    clayusmcret Premium Member 11 months ago

    …but be the adult. They’ll be your friend later.

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    sarahbowl1 Premium Member 11 months ago

    I like that!

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    R Humble  11 months ago

    Sounds easy but just wait until the twos and the teens. That’s when it gets real but worth it.

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    KEA  11 months ago

    Could come with a recording of CSN’s “Teach Your Children”

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    ira.crank  11 months ago

    Warning: can be harmful to physical and mental health

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    sallyseckman  11 months ago

    There’s lots of ways to raise a child but this is the definite golden rule to follow.

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    thejanith Premium Member 11 months ago

    Love it! This brings to mind the old saying “There is no way to be a perfect parent — but there are a million ways to be a good one!”

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    Moonkey Premium Member 11 months ago

    I used to tell my child that the hospital gave me an instruction manual. As she got older, she started to doubt it, but to this day, I uphold my statement. She has children of her own. I need to ask her if she got two manuals.

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    TrixieinDixie Premium Member 11 months ago

    You may not always understand your kids, and you may not always agree with your kids, but you can always accept them and love them and encourage them to be who they are, even if you don’t get it.

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    Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member 11 months ago

    Mark, it is now confirmed you have a heart.

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    rickmac1937 Premium Member 11 months ago

    Great note

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    rhpii  11 months ago

    And while you are at it, mold them into responsible adults and citizens.

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    John Lustig (Last Kiss) creator 11 months ago

    Amen!

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    mistercatworks  11 months ago

    I wish parents had to spent at least as much time training to raise a child as you do to get licensed to drive a motor vehicle.

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    dnotkin Premium Member 11 months ago

    Is that couple 2 women?

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    BQuirky  11 months ago

    Definitely fits this generation; “Don’t teach your child to become a useful contributor to society, accept their basic nature of selfish entitlement.”

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