That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 15, 2023

/// In Nel’s parlor Matheeus would stand,

trying to win the young lady’s hand.

Watching, off to one side,

was her servant, who spied,

ready to appear, should she command.

/// Yes, The Courtship was odd from the start.

Mat did not wish to win the girl’s heart.

It’s her hand that he treasured.

With that hand she had pleasured

Matheeus; her skill was an art.

“No, you fool! You’re holding her hand wrong!” All the coaching had gone to waste.

Carlos was just surreptitiously slipping the ring off of Marie’s finger on the pretext of kissing her hand when her husband walked in.

You’re right! She doesn’t have a pulse!

The statues adorning the wall/

Are surprisingly lifelike – (and tall !)/

And Madame and her swain/

Are “at it” again../

(The statues have seen it all..)///

See? Doesn’t it feel like a furry caterpillar?

Horace was devastated to now realize he didn’t stand a chance to hook up with Maurice.

smelleth my finger!

You can go now Cyrano, I think I’ve got this from here.

I bet he was a real nail biter.

Concerned Papa snoops from behind the curtain

He wants to make completely certain

That Thom Foolery makes no incursion

Against his daughter’s status as a virgin

That things don’t go beyond mere flirtin’!

.

Indeed, the suitor seems rather randy

Dressed as an adventure-loving dandy

Attired in the style of Musketeer

Or Puss in Boots, so Papa fears,

As he spies him getting handy!

.

His daughter seems to be duly impressed

Her hand Thom kisses, and Papa’s stressed

How far along will such endearments go?

Should he step forth to cancel the show

Before a mortal sin need be confessed?

.

Oh, once he himself did with girls explore

Where no man else had gone before

Ah, sweet mystery of life here unfolding …

No, these two are due for a father’s scolding

And the bold young man shown out the door.

Alexander paused his greeting as he smelled a familiar odor on his fiancé’s hand. It was that of a fresh “nether region tickling,” which they often did to one another, but he had just returned home ….

“Stop trying to lift my dress with your foot! My father’s here!”

“Don’t mind me, I’ll be behind this curtain. I like to watch.”

Nuthin’s as unnervin’ as a servant who’s observin’ in the mor-ornin’…

Oh, oh! Somebody’s swash is about to get buckled!

The room’s occupants it teases,

with walls of naughty friezes,

But she’s a prude,

considers kisses lude,

dashing his hopes for stripteases.

Got to third base and then went running home…

Papa’s hoping this fool might be the one to fall for his pin headed daughter.

Time for a castle improvement loan for door installation. The curtain locks aren’t working.

This picture really prompted some excellent responses today…thanks guys!

If you read Dumas, the distance between third and home is very short indeed.

“The Courtship,” 1867

Actually I believe that ‘back in the 17th century’ that was considered grounds for a shotgun (blunderbuss) wedding.

You know, this is titled “The Courtship”, and it’s not a history painting as far as I can find, so I kinda think the guy at the door is her father, not his. The course of true love is about to not run smooth.

“But Daddy, since I am blind he was just going to demonstrate what is depicted in the painting above the fireplace. What harm is there in that?”

Yet another person photobombing the painting.

The courtship: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:1867 oil on canvas paintings" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string Frans, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3237 (December 14, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .jpg from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. Only work by him used here so far.

checking out her bosom lars decided to stay with his boyfriend Neil. Neil had better anatomy.

This painting, according to my research was retitled “Voyeur”…

Ahhh. My “Tell All” book keeps getting better and better!

Would you hurry up! My “appointment” with her is in 10 minutes!

His models were closely inspected/ to make certain they weren’t infected/Some bridled at scrutiny/many more chose to mutiny/And a few of them simply defected.