F Minus by Tony Carrillo for January 12, 2024

Tell Timmy he has White Privilege and you’re getting reparations.

You paid for yours

Trickle-down economics??

Tell Timmy that the reason you have 12 apples is because you are really smart and if he gives you one of his apples you will stop people who have no apples from stealing his last apple.

Pre-law class?

Easy “Quit expecting people to give you things for free Timmy and go pick more apples yourself I am not here to provide for you”

“Never mind my apples, Timmy. See that large group of poor people over there, sharing one apple? That apple was supposed to be yours, and THEY STOLE IT! They’re the ones you should be mad at!”

Capitalism.

I wondered how they could inject the “progressive” agenda into math. Now I know.

Timmy better make a doctor’s appointment in four days

“what’s your strongest argument against socialism, class?” Let’s write a 5 paragraph essay. Groans all around

I worked hard enough to end up with 12 apples. Timmy worked 1/10th as hard as me and still got 2 apples. It might be unfair, but in Timmy’s favor.

By telling Timmy that gerrymandering is legal – despite what the state and federal Supreme Courts keep saying

I wish I knew the class title: Philosophy, Ethics, Economics, Accounting, Political Science, ….?

Convert Timmy into a communist liberal democrat and he won’t know the difference.

Because Timmy’s apples taste better? His are caramel apples.

1%-er school

Since the difference is ten, it seems that 10 knuckles would be convincing. That’s the way the playground works, right?

I’d have said this was in the Jeff Bezos School District, but in that case the question would be “You have fourteen apples and your friend Timmy has an acorn…”

Tell Timmy his are Macintoshes, Apple charges more for them.

Tell Timmy that if he works hard he can earn the same number of apples you have, but arrange the grocery store to make sure that’s impossible.

America…in a nutshell!

Tell Timmy to read Ayn Rand’s “Virtues of Selfishness.”

Tell Timmy his parents should have left him 10 apples when they died.

Don’t try to convince him. Tell him life’s not fair and if he wants more apples then work harder to earn them

Is Timmy really going to eat more than two apples? I’ll take care of the rest so he won’t have to bother with them.