That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for March 15, 2024

Another date got cold feet at the last moment.

(Steve Melcher’s joke is much funnier than any alternate concept I can think of, so I’ll run with a version of his.)

/// From a terrace some twelve feet away,

a new bride tossed her wedding bouquet.

She must be very strong,

for the missile went long.

No one caught it; “the ball’s still in play.”

Augusta; trying to get her pet bouquet to go for a walk.

Sir Mix-a-Lot brings his dream girl flowers!

It’ a classic scam – while the woman is distracted by the flowers, the thieves sneak in and make off with the piano.

Well, it’s better than the last thing somebody had anonymously left on her doorstep.

The flaming dog poo had completely ruined her house slippers.

Mary’s unfortunate allergies, which prevented her from having animal pets, resulted in desperate attempts to teach her bouquets to do tricks.

When the bride threw that that battered bouquet/

She was eighty-five yards away/

Though the marriage has failed/

Nonetheless she’s prevailed/

She’s a star in the W.N.B.A…

He left in such a hurry, is it my breath?

Alternate Painting Title: “The Beginning and End of the Affair

“You don’t bring me flowers

I don’t play us love songs

We hardly talk to each other anymore

When we stand upon the balcony at the end of the day…

.

“… It used to be so natural (used to be)

Talk about forever

But used-to-bes don’t count anymore

They just lay on the floor ’til we sweep them away…”

(Imitation of “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers Anymore”)

Apology to Songwriters: Alan Bergman / Marilyn Bergman / Neil Diamond

https://m.youtube.Com/watch?v=-rULsHDJiec

The FTD folks don’t even wait around for a tip anymore?

A really well-trained cat will leave flowers on your doorstep instead of dead animals.

Peggy now realized it was not such a good idea to have the bean burrito before her date arrrived.

He takes my flower last night. And he thinks this is an acceptable response?

Which led to the phrase: All Flowers, No Ring !!

When you don’t tip the flower delivery guy.

Just curious: I can’t clearly make out the printing for the sheet music on the piano, except that it is meant to be a well-used copy of “Romeo et Juliette.” I figure it is a four-hand piano transcription of Hector Berlioz’s opera, considering 1876 as the year of the painting. The famous Tchaikovsky work might possibly fit within that time frame, but barely.

Young ladies of this period whose families could afford pianos were often expected to take lessons and play in social settings, and for young men courting them. American girls often went to Europe to study in Germany with famous composers and teachers, among them Karl Tausig and even Franz Liszt. Amy Faye was one such, and wrote a famous memoir, “Music Study in Germany”.

Funny

Powerful lungs, hay fever, and a would-be suitor now crumpled in a pile on the back lawn.

They should have known the bride had a strong arm when she shouted, “Go long!” before tossing the bouquet.

Another drive-by shooting by the FTD Gang.

“The Surprise Bouquet”

The surprise bouquet: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:1876 oil on canvas paintings" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string bouquet, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size 1876 painting. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3287 (March 15, 2024) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .jpg from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to the blog entry with my comment pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 7 works by him have been used here, the December 5, 2022, strip being the prior.

♫ Countin’ flowers on the floor, that don’t bother me at all. Playing solitaire ‘til dawn with a deck of 51. Smokin’ cigarettes and watchin’ Captain Kangaroo. Now don’t tell me, I’ve nothin’ to do. ♫

A block away from the bionic woman’s wedding.

John had some flowers but didn’t like Mary, so he threw them on the balcony and went his way.

I dunno if she’s a bride, but if you wanna see a lady with a good arm, look up Kelsey Plum tshirt toss on YouTube

Peeking through a keyhole might show you things you don´t want to see. Or things you want to see.

Why that two timing b*!

Dating a flea?

And where did he get the money for flowers?

Tragically, two minutes later the bouquet exploded in her face making her yet another victim of “the Romantic Anarchist”!

Oh, there’s a note: “Please don’t practice before breakfast—or at least close those fancy doors.”

Right in the bread basket.

Sorry, I don’t take requests—I can’t sit down to the piano with this thing on my back.

Isabel found it incredibly difficult to bend over any further, due to all of the ruffles, the chemise, the knickers, the corset, bustle and under petticoat. No wonder they suffered from the vapors!

At her wedding, Caitlin Clark couldn’t resist trying for a three-pointer.