The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for April 27, 2024

You could accidentally give yourself a tonsurectomy.

I never had to try that haircut. Nature did it for me as I aged.

There was an abbey, famous for its beautiful flower gardens. The friars who lived there had a problem, though – the abbey roof was in need of repairs, and they did not have the funds to pay for it. The friars decided to sell their flowers to raise money and opened a flower shop in town. Unfortunately, they were right across the street from an existing florist who was understandably upset at the friar’s encroachment on his livelihood. He tried to talk them out of it, but they had no other choices to raise the funds. He complained to the town, but the friars had obtained the necessary permits and licenses. Finally, in desperation, he hired a local thug named Hugh to scare them off. Hugh busted up the friar’s shop and sent them all packing back to the abbey. Thus, proving once again, that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

That was never an issue with Friar Gillette.

The razor we could have let slide, but for making that pun I’m afraid we shall have to ask you to leave the order and the grounds forthwith.

Better ask Brother Occam if you can use his.

A cutting remark I must say!

It looks like the one Monk suffered his blade!

When the weather gets nice, the one assigned to do all the outdoor grilling becomes the Frequent Friar Fryer.

I see Friar Cut is there with his robbin’ hood.

Friar Tuck had a slight tremor in his shaving right hand. Whenever he touched up his tonsure, it was usually Tuck and nip.

From the internet:

Jay Leno’s first joke was uttered in grammar school. Teacher says: “People were very cruel in the days of Robin Hood. They used to boil people in oil.” Leno raises his hand and says, “But they couldn’t boil Tuck. He was a friar.”

Is he Friarman Bill?

Thirty more years of silence for you!

That’s a real groaner,

Good Grief

shaved the humor off this one

The Sheriff of Nottingham captured Robin Hood’s men and boiled them in oil. All but Tuck. He was a fryer.

Two Franciscan Brothers decided to open a fish and chips restaurant (because the Monastery needed money to make repairs). The local news media got wind of this and sent a reporter to interview the Brothers. Reporter gets to the restaurant and sees one of the Brothers working the deep fryer. Reporter asks “what is your role?”. Brother replies “I’m the fish fryer. The guy over there is the chip monk”.

Now they just call him Brother Nick.

Henny Youngman was a Monk???? Who knew?

Brother Dominic’s wit was as dull as the razor.

Is that Abbot Costello?

They don’t live in a monastery, but in a groanastery.

You never know when you see a tonsure haircut if you’re looking at a monk or at someone who just escaped the electric chair.

Brother Dominic has razor sharp wit.

Unintentionally use brother Occam’s razor?