Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for May 05, 2024

And THAT’s when I found out that it’s NOT the triple-A people who put out the road spikes. So even if I HAD gotten a map before I left, I would still probably have hit them.

A come-on from the attractive lady in the cat glasses. Surprising, but remember, this IS Froglandia, land of innuendo and where you are only lame if you don’t believe it.

Happy Birthday, Teresa!

Congratulations on completing another ride around the sun.

My birthday is around the corner, too. Have a happy one.

at a all you can eat buffert with plastic utensils and silly love songs

Whether you use a spork, a foon or a fecifork, the banquet of life awaits you!

Happy Being Born Day, Teresa! Thank you for the Plumage you bestow upon us with such lameness!

Read about the Silver Anniversary of Cartoonist Day, and the beginning of Cartoons here at:

Www.dailycartoonist.Com / / 2024 / 05 / 05 / 25-years-of-national-cartoonists-days / #comment-510976

First there came the cat glasses

then the catbird dragged in on its own seat.

Next in line were the frogs dragging their asses

like a 20-Mule-Team-Borax commercial-ad feat.

The stool pigeons were right behind bringing up arrears

while dung beetles rolled on, smoking out all our fears.

It was the oddest parade seen in these parts in many a year

except for the time a rasher of fresh blotter got into the beer.

- segment from “Old Town Got Painted All Weird and Fuzzy Again Last Night,” in the forthcoming first collector’s edition souvenir portmanteau, No Bunny Nose the Tribbles I Been by Amanda Knott-Crosse © 2024 Broadsheets & Broadsides Amalgamated, a subsidiary of KA-BLAMMO™ Industries, Ministries & Sundries Un-Freaking-Limited, Inc.

“She may look like a pushover, men — but if there’s one thing this dang war has taught me… [casually pushes helmet back on head and squints] this is one pillbox that’s gonna be one heckuva pain in the Amphibian Theater of operations to take!”

- Sgt. Chuck “Hatman” Woolens, giving his squad an operational briefing in the 1947 Goober Bros. Film, First We Steal All Their Headcovers, starring Ernest Bandolier and Charlie Horst — A Crater-Catwalk Production

End up not down like You sank my submarine, at Subway ®.

From the looks of things, a ’versary’s afoot.

Or at hand. Whichsoever it be:

(Never sure where such things get put

in memory, for this always feels like at sea.)

In any event, hints hereabouts help lead the way.

So: Wishing you a happy annual Lap-Around-the-Sun day!

Escalator Traveler Way.

Way, Okay Way.

You know by the glasses that she’s smarter than you are.

…whaaat?!?…

…those are for sissies…

…way too passive…

…I intentionally work at a dead end job…

…put in over 10,000 steps…

…a shift…

…ok……a 9½ hour shift…

…retire?…

…HA! …

…that means I couldn’t be denied for a vacation that I’ve already paid for …

…because they need bodies to work six days a week…

…and even if you in your cat-eye glasses…

…are the prettiest gal in the plant …

…I couldn’t tell ya…

…it would be inappropriate to tell you at work…

…but what I could tell you…

…today is not only Cattoonists Day…

…but cartoonist, Teresa Burritt’s birthday…

…see where that gets ya…

haven’t i talked with you before?

In a cartoon, on top of a mountain, with a long white beard, wearing a robe.

Self-denial is a worldly pleasure.

Happy Birthday, Teresa!

Alive, due to lack of excess. With enough buttons, we can drain the batteries. It depends on whether we’re sewing them or pushing them. HBD, TB.

Probably right here, right now.

…it doesn’t matter what goes into your mouth…

…but what comes out of it…

…your disciples are breaking the law by picking grain on the sabbath…

…man was not made for the law…

…but the law for man…

…did not David eat of the showbread?…

…what you have done here is the reverse of that…

…you served the crappy wine first…

…and saved the best for last…

…then neither do I condemn you…

…then you say…

…that my servants party, eat and drink…

…he had wasted all of his inheritance on wine, women and song…

…what an idiot I am…

…I could go back to my father and get a job there…

…Jesus claimed to be the truth…

…every junkie searching for the truth…

…will eventually find it…

…that this road I am going down is a dead end…

…and only the truth will set him free…

…[ I don’t believe in your Jah-holy bullsh*t…

…you knock on my door again and I’ll sic the dog on you…

…hold back Dobby…

…Let’s get ’em a chance to run first]…

Puritanism: the irrational fear that someone, somewhere might be happy.

Ascetics young and old, have no experience. They have that in common. Their conversations must be scintillating.

I ended up here… wait, this is a worldly pleasure… nevermind!

Your word balloon says one thing but your eyes say something else.

¡FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS, TERESA!

My marvelous First Maite’s was Saturday, hence the occasion for our excursion to Panama, last week.

Missed FA but had no time to peruse the news of the lame.

that bonnet is hiding more memory

there is always so much more

Least and maybe not even last … HDBD Teresa❗️

( a little birdie told me so )

Abstinence makes the heart go founder.

Your absinthe fakes the cart-back rounder.

[giggles in bar]

Pay-per-view or papers few?

Pay-to-play or peyote play?

[night again, staring at stars]

To pack up, go away — or pack out and go weigh.

To come and stay — out ol’ Tecumseh way.

Hard to settle up and softly settle down

without anything to live up — or anything to live down.

- excerpt from “Tremolo Oboe, Plus or Minus Three Auks,” in the soon-to-be-released throwaway pamphlet and fish-cage liner, Nightfall, Downfall, Waterfowl by Omann Kandells © 2024 Sequined Sphinxter Mimeograph Alliance

Scarlett Johansson IS Audrey Hepburn in Dame Edna Everage in Krakatoa, East of Cuppa-Java.

“On the cover of The Rolling Stone”

…it was an average movie…

…at best…

…if I was being generous…

…about the end of the world…

…at an end of the world party…

…a woman was doing meth…

…why not?…

…she claimed…

…I was always afraid to try it because I’d get addicted…

…but…

…tomorrow we all die…

…in another end of the world movie…

….just- maybe- the end of America movie…

…we are all being cyber attacked…

…all the Teslas were driving wild and crashing into each other…

…but it wouldn’t just be ‘all’ electric cars…

…it would be almost ALL NEW CARS …

…I’m sure my Camry would/could be hacked…

…its computer practically runs itself…

..the sad news they don’t want to tell you…

…the crashing 737s…

…almost certainly hacked…

…the boat that took out the bridge…

…hacked…

…but I do have good news…

…I’ve saved 15% with Geico Insurance…

“It’s not only a living, it’s an all-time personal best.”

- Bob Borygmas, Chief Custodian and Sawdust Operative, New Guinea-Pigg Institute of Silent Culinary Arts & Preparatory Monkdom, Listeria, NY

Better Living through Lowered Expectations™