That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for June 21, 2024

/// The hunters flee, leg muscles aching,

but slowness means bones will be breaking.

Either by ivory speared,

or on iced tundra smeared—

this was too mammoth an undertaking.

Dib’s on the tusks.

“Quick back to the snowmobiles.”

“YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!” … “Ok, we go. Have nice day. See, we go far away now.”

Over the centuries, the story of Hannibal and a few of his friends being chased over the Alps by one angry elephant became a story of Hannibal crossing the Alps with 37 elephants, 70,000 men, and 20,000 horses.

Concept art from an eventually dropped skit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the Killer Mammoth of Caerbannog.

Looking for the sloth and the sabertooth.

Yeah it’s effective, but I still think there must be a better way to get a cardio workout

I thought you got us “extra” parts in a Star Wars movie?

I would never have paid for this safari if I knew they were that big!

There was “The elephant in the room” – even before there was a room.

When a mammoth becomes irate/

He starts throwing around his weight-/

So it’s not a surprise/

That it’s probably wise/

To exit before it’s too late.

It’s downright unwise to inflame/

The temper of really big game:/

If you cause it to “turn “/

Some harsh truth you may learn/

And you’ll never be quite the same..///

That fact is depicted here/

M. Jamin makes abundantly clear/

That our usual habit/

Was dining on rabbit/

Or (if we were lucky) small deer.

Lorg, is the oldest of the hunters. He knows he doesn’t have to be the fastest guy to escape, so long as he’s not the slowest.

This well-muscled but primitive crew/

Has “bitten off too much to chew”:/

At the end of the day/

In extreme disarray/

They depart – without further ado.

“And don’t come back”, says the elephant.

Hunting beasts is an onerous chore/

It’s attended by perils galore:/

Agriculture is dull/

But it won’t crush your skull-/

Which is why we’re an omnivore..

Least it’s not a Tyrannosaurus!

Mammoth: “Yummy! Cro-Magnon kebab!”

Neanderthals/

With brazen balls/

Sought elephants to eat:/

Cro Magnon men/

Lived longer when/

They started planting wheat.

“This stick is foolproof” you said. “Done it millions of times” you said. “Well it worked great with the model!”

Run away!Run away!Run away!…

I know, let’s go to Egypt, their building pyramids now and it’s warm and no mammoths!

“Okay. Who’s the smart aleck that ordered his steak raw?”

This painter was the Boris Vallejo of his day – slightly racy pictures of a slightly fantasy bent.

(though in this case, it was literally race-y)

Someone on the crew tried to pull the wool over the hunters’ eyes.

♫ Ay, wooly bully Watch it now, watch it Here he comes, here he comes Watch it now, he get ’cha ♫ (Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs)

The flight before the mammoth: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Running in art" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string 1,886, and click its link for info and links that point to more info (perhaps best viewed using the Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox browsers, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) about this unsized painting. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3342 (June 21, 2024) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to the info about this artist I used to point to here. Only work by him used here so far.

faster guys, i got stuck on that horn before, it’s no fun.

“La fuite devant le mammouth”, 1885

Welp…! It’s back to hunting rabbits again!

Oh, there is no greater concern than running from a pachyderm in the mo-o-o-o-orning!

Okay, this has to be the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. So much wonderful poetry cascading for this one piece of artwork. But, I have finally decided that the Dragoncat Award for Best LMAO goes to…

Steve Melcher!

Why? Because he even inspired ME to make a comment, that’s why!

I wouldn’t touch that with a 12 foot pole.

The question is: who will freeze solid first?

“OK, you idiots! — Who ordered the Mammoth Special to go?!?”…