Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for September 19, 2024

My dearest Mother assures me that I am a Very Special Boy, and that I fully deserve every medal and award that I have purchased.

Let’s go for a swim then, right now.

I respectfully decline to participate in your psychosis.

Yet you only came in second in the “bulletproof vest” competition…

Don’t know you, and don’t care to.

It takes a lot of brass to say that!

Enough campaigning already!!

Reginald had by far the most bling of any server at ‘Mr. Friendly Food’.

…well…I’m the rubber and you’re the glue…

…and everything you say bounces off me…

…and stick to you…

… NO! Archibald…

…you’re missing the Grape Nehi bottle cap…

…Jerry’s Comic Con mithril suit…

…working at the funeral parlor had its benefits…

…and leaving all of those medals just to be buried seemed such a waste…

…Elijah Wood’s brother…

…Peyton-Morning-Wood…

…won every Scouting Pinewood Derby race in Cedar Rapids since 1987…

…The Old Wolf’s Frog Applause commenters award jacket…

…Greta kept this photo in her bra…

…though she never married him…

…her husband never knew she was in love with the best man…

That’s awesome. We can discuss it some more after you have scrubbed the toilets.

Participation trophies have jumped the shark.

None of your petty nitpicking can get through my impenetrable shield of decorations.

You read my mind!

heavy, man

Sounds like something my ex-wife used to screech.

Rope-A-Dope…

Smoken

the army navy stores favorite customer

Channeling someone, is he?

Sounds like a guy I knew!

He was so narcissistic! He was so infatuated with himself he carried a mirror in his pocket so he can look at himself all day long! TRUE story!

He was my exs friend and was in my bridal party! I should have known better…my ex was a narcissistic blowhard also!

and my girl is red hot, your girl ain’t doodly squat…

Please take off your shoes and belt before going through the medal detector .. er, wait, metal detector.

Look at all those medals. Sigh, I always get behind this guy at Airport Security.

Today’s Senryū du Jour:

Self-help mantras ain’t

what they used to be — but then…

Um… Neither are we.

Today’s Helplessly Impulsive Backup Senryū du Jour:

B-S detector

of mine says you really smell

more like Number Two.

Arrrgh … Happy “Talk Like A Pirate Day” to all my fellow LAME MATES today …!

( today’s character above should have to walk the plank )

He’s going to need the skills of a competent chiropractor.

One is the loneliest number that you ever heard…

Being nothing is rather satisfying. Thank you.