Moderately Confused by Jeff Stahler for January 24, 2025

They’ll change the name so you won’t need to register it.

Still made. About $79 at Walmart. About $95 after tariffs.

A sharp veggie knife is cheaper.

Fastest gun in the salad bar!

Salad tongs.

The secret service won’t let it in the oval office.

This just in: “A salad shooter opened up and took down 6 heads of cabbage in the school cafeteria today.”

It wouldn’t surprise me if there wasn’t a law against it in California.

“Why, is our neighbor, the gardener, still trying to get rid of all that extra zucchini he grew?”

“A well regulated Kitchen, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear salad shooters, shall not be infringed.”

Don’t know if you can take one into the Capital or not, some were upset about something the other day, but you’ll probably get a Reprieve.