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Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 19, 2011
Transcript:
Voice: Let's see... you skip church... get drunk... and think only about making money... if that's not a prescription for salvation, I don't know what is. Rat: Shut your face. I've got a plan. Voice: Lemme guess... you're gonna keep doing whatever you want, but ask for forgiveness in the seconds before you die, hoping like heck that your death doesn't one day catch you by surprise. Rat: Who talked? Voice: About two million other consciences. Rat confronts the conscience he locked away years ago.
AGED_ENGINEER Premium Member over 13 years ago
I think Rat needs to locate Father Mole again before it is too late.
doc white over 13 years ago
Hell,(sorry) isnât that what most do. Not realy sorry.
Sisyphos over 13 years ago
Rat is condemned to rathood for all eternity! Learn from this, ratty ones!
spamster over 13 years ago
only 2 billion? Mr Pastis must be an optimist.
Ottodesu over 13 years ago
This one is deep, close to the bone. âAbout two billionâ sounds about right, give or take a couple of billion.
Hillbillyman over 13 years ago
Attenting church donât make you a righteous person. Some folks use Church as a social club; as my grandmothers once said RIPâŠâThey go to see, and be seen.â
zero over 13 years ago
Those 2 billion + the opiated are amateurs. Once God asks me for forgiveness, Iâll ask. An I for an I. . ..
tigre1 over 13 years ago
HallelujahâŠetc. (Who talked?)
cdward over 13 years ago
Latest stats Iâve read place Christians world-wide at about 2 billion. Muslims at 1.3 billion. Hindus at 900 million. Agnostic/Atheist at 850 million. And so on. Iâm sure the numbers are changing all the time.
SusanSunshine Premium Member over 13 years ago
EtherAir â Do you think only âChristiansâ have a conscience?
Even at that, seems like youâre counting only Protestants, not all Christians.
Youâre leaving out huge populations â Catholic Latin America, Eastern Orthodox Russia, Coptic Ethiopia, etc.
Yes, there are 2 billion Christians.
And a billion and a half Muslims âŠ.. almost a billion HindusâŠ.
Millions of Buddhists, Jains⊠.hey, even a few JewsâŠ..
Iâm sure you can find a conscience or two there, if you look.
SusanSunshine Premium Member over 13 years ago
oopsâŠ.cdward, you posted while I was typingâŠ. sorry.
But Iâll leave it cos of the rest of my post.
The Old Wolf over 13 years ago
Intriguing strip. Rat is a jerk, and itâs fun (and a bit painful) to watch his antics because we all know people like this. Rat is also totally clueless about his jerkitude, because he canât seen past the end of his own pointy nose. His conscience, however, is calling him to account, and heâs not terribly happy about it.
tigre1 over 13 years ago
âUp in the atticâŠthe locked boxâŠâ sound familiar? What about a useful friendly interface that decodes all the messages for better behavior that are stored there, and thereâs a processor that down-loads into your deepest mind those lessons and more socially-appropriate strategies for a more effective future?
No, Rat will just put it in a rocket bound for Alpha Centuri, or somewhere. Bon voyageâŠor not. âMight be some neat-o stuff in there. Letâs lookâŠOh mi god, itâ sPandora! how are you, baby?â Ooops.
Sportymonk over 13 years ago
Faith is fine, its the implementation of it in man made denominations that screws things up. Many people I believe would like to attend a church where they are welcome to be a part of it and have input rather than what most are like â run by a special handful that keep things the way they have always been; no changes allowed. Sorry but as a former minister, I have found a lot of people who would love church if they were truly welcome. My Christian faith is strong but I have lost my love for organized religion. There is a world of difference between Christianity and religion.
rolleg over 13 years ago
2 billion Christians. Uh. What if one added all those who proclaimed to be Christian from the beginning of Christianity. 2 billion at this specific point in time; probably. But since the beginnning of Christianity, letâs say 30 A.D., itâs going to be a lot more.
finale over 13 years ago
âSay there ainât no HeavenâŠpray there ainât no Hellâ
bahramthered over 13 years ago
I love all this talk about christianity and church attendance making you morale. Look at the areas that have the highest percent of christian and highest level professed belief have the most of all the things they claim are immoral, like out of wedlock children, extramarital affairs, divorce, murder, and gay sex.
My theory is having the all powerful master of the universe willing to forgive you for anything is a pretty nice license to do whatever you want.
VegaAlopex over 13 years ago
OOOH! This is TOO close to reality!
packet over 13 years ago
Shoot⊠Pastis described me to a T with this stripâŠ
prasrinivara over 13 years ago
Not true; there has been much growth in non-mainstream church in many countries:
UNOFFICIAL Christian population of China is 100-200 millionUNOFFICIAL Christian population of Indonesia is over 40 million (officially less than 20)My M-I-L recently told me that in Guntur City (where she lives) over half the population have become Christiansâwhich when extrapolated means UNOFFICIAL Christian population (to become officially recognised as having changed religion, the convert has to fill out a double-ream of forms) of India to be around 8% (5% by conversion and 3% by census) or 100 millionAlso, the total numbers of nominal Christians include nominal Roman Catholics (of which you have around 500 million from Rio Grande to Cape Horn)
The Old Wolf over 13 years ago
Person of faith or person of reason, our obligation is the same: say less, do more. All of us can be involved in raising the human condition, and the less said about who is right and who is defective the better.
abaffuto over 13 years ago
Yeah..who ratted us out?
OilCanHarry over 13 years ago
Religion is not synonymous with spirituality. The former should never be considered a valid substitute for the latter.
Just in case this forum still qualifies as polite company, let me say two words: Politics. Abortion.
There, that should finish the job.
Paladin39 over 13 years ago
Iâd like a Bently with a wet bar please.
Gafferjack over 13 years ago
These days, if you canât find a church/faith that suits you, then the sad truth is that youâre not really looking.
FlippySuper over 13 years ago
If you ask forgivness in the last second and you are not sorry,it doesnt count rat.
jmorris9999 Premium Member over 13 years ago
No, Christians go to church, along with a whole bunch of people unclear on the concept.
corzak over 13 years ago
Constantine the Great made Christianity the state religion of the Roman Empire, and so billions of us are Christian today. (As opposed to Mithraism, Sol Invictus, etc.).Constantine deliberately waited to the very end of his life to accept baptism/unction, in order to freely carry out the ruthlessness required to rule the empire (including slaughtering a wife or two, children, nephews, etc.) and then âhave all his sins washed cleanâ, thus setting a precedent.
3hourtour Premium Member over 13 years ago
..and to think I just came here for the laughsâŠ
yatman over 13 years ago
Lighten up, people! Itâs a comic strip, for Gawdâs sake!
shredder32 over 13 years ago
Christianity is growing rapidly in China, of all places. It is also very much a âSouthern Hemisphereâ phenomenon right now. All that could change with the time and tide of history, but at this time, that is the reality.
Anyway, what Rat describes is pretty much what I see in most folks who say âthey are spiritual but not religious.â I.e., let me do things my way, but let me sound all holy at the same time.
PShaw0423 over 13 years ago
TheTrustedMechanic said: âSo I go about my life, thanking God for the blessings in my life, treating others with the same respect and consideration as I would want to me treated, and hoping that the Lord Almighty will look favorably upon me when he calls me from this earth.â Thatâs the essence of Christianity of all denominations, and of morality and virtue of all times, places, and creeds..Morality isnât in going to churchâŠitâs in wanting to go to church, to love and give thanks to God. Maybe most who go there just go âto see and be seenâ â theyâre missing out on the best part, and theyâll never know it until itâs too late..In the same way, morality isnât merely in saying âForgive me!ââŠitâs in realizing with grief that youâve done things that need to be forgiven, and in wanting to be forgiven, and in asking for forgiveness with âa humble and contrite heartâ..Itâs true: you know a tree by its fruit, not by a label thumbtacked to the bark.
squirrel500 over 13 years ago
Nah⊠Iâd say 2 TRILLION
Number Three over 13 years ago
LOL LOL, You tell him!
xxx
bobdingus over 13 years ago
Who said anything about Christians?
GalleyOar over 13 years ago
Next time Rat returns as a Cockroach.
pocounohamster over 13 years ago
Love it when Rat hides his consciousâŠit is always funny to see he has oneâŠlike with the cans on his tail from a few years back..
bmonk over 13 years ago
Pastis seems to have hit a sensitive nerve or 50. Yes, Christians are sinnersâas well as other people. Thatâs why we need help from God. And (we Christians believe) God sent Jesus, his own son, to help usâand in turn Jesus founded the Church (as Catholics and Orthodox and maybe some of the othersbelieve) to guide and help us on our way. So, of course the Church is full of hypocrites and sinners. Thatâs not why I go, nor why I stay away. I stay to help those I can, and to get the help of those who can help meâmost of all, the help of God.If the Church were full of perfect people, I wouldnât be welcome. But it is full of sinners, so I fit into it.+++++Of course, the odd thing is the slew of people who think they can fool, not just themselves, nor even other people, but God. Or those who trust their own faulty judgment and understanding over the judgment and understanding of God, given to us so long ago through his own Son.
Logical Duck over 13 years ago
People who wait till the eleventh hour often die at 10:30.
WaitingMan over 13 years ago
I was born into a Jewish family but have been an atheist since I was ten (48 years and counting). My mother once asked me why I didnât fast on Yom Kippur. I told her âIâll atone for my sins when god atones for his.â
veganswimmer over 13 years ago
This concious thing, is hysterical. I guess if Rat did not have one, as it sometimes would seem, he would be a psychopath and he is not quite that bad. lol So, its locked up in a trunk, aha! addie
killacowinWA over 13 years ago
Wonder what Pastis thinks of all these conversations.
sstacks over 13 years ago
Going to church doesnât save you. Being a Christian (different from simply going to church) doesnât make you necessarily a more moral person⊠it mainly means you have realized you are a sinner and have sought Godâs forgiveness through Jesus Christ. Plenty of nice sinners and mean Christians⊠Christians, however, recognize they need God.
shredder32 over 13 years ago
Anyone remember when the religious wing of the Republican party got all worked up over one issue and divided the country? Probably not, since no one was alive during the Civil War.
jr1408 over 13 years ago
Hindsight is always 20/20
jackproarty almost 7 years ago
If the conscience can communicate canât it call someone to get him out?
Bye Bye Jeffy about 4 years ago
Iâm pretty sure he actually cut-and-pasted this one from the one a few strips ago (i have the treasury, and i remember him writing it)
leopardglily about 1 year ago
Thatâs some serious religious guilt.