Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 22, 2012

My answer would have been Chinese Food. Excuse me, I must go build a church.

Hebrews 11:1 is a good scripture on faith. Whether or not you believe in the Book of Mormon, go to Alma 32:21 (page 289) “Now as I said concerning faith— faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.”

“I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.” (Steve Martin)

I have faith that we’ll have really cheesy comments today. amen

Edam if you do, Edam if you don’t. Gouda nuff for me!

Stephan showed up in Frazz today. He mooned Frazz.

I like the idea that Jerry Garcia had that a monster crystal grown from cocaine hydroxide that he saw in a German museum could be used to start your own religion. That way cooler than just a church.

Where do I sign up?

What a friend we have in cheeses!

Go up to Green Bay & just get one of them foam Packers cheesehead hats Pig. Be easier and means the same thing…

Well I’m sure glad the “war” is over. Hope Stephan’s nipples survived.

mmm can cheeese

….it only takes as much as a mustard seed..

Just imagine trying to decide which denomination to belong to that church. “Well I’m a cheddar and my fiancee’s a feta, father. But you know my grandmother was raised a gouda so we were wondering if you do gouda services.” “Well my child, gouda’s a little beyond me, but I do a mean edam service.”-Oh, and would any of the denominations hear confession? "Bless me father for I have sinned. I paired cheese with the wrong wine…. "

Finally, the return of nachofication.

I have to say this is about the most worthless collection of comments ever. Some really poor puns, and a person or two trying to peddle their beliefs onto others. What happened to the intelligence this forum usually provokes?

“faith is being sure of what you hope for, and certain of what you cannot see”

Sorry,Pig, but I couldn’t have faith in a Church of Cheese. Too cheesy an idea. Maybe its splinter offshoot, The Church of Really Good Pizza….

Of course, Pig will use Swiss… it’s holey.

“Blessed are the cheese makers” Brian Christ (Thanks, Monty Python)

I chedder to think where this storyline is going.

@crweaver Dang, dude, I was going to use that one. Pay no attention to the feebleminded whiners; those who complain the loudest about a good pun are those too stupid to make up their own.

hahaha…pearls always cracks me up, it is my favorite comic in the paper! :)

Looks like Pig found “Cheeses”. “Cheeses Of Nazareth”, that is.

Considered the greatest statement of faith in the Old Testament – Habakuk 3:17 – 19 (Remember it written by an agricultural society person)

17 Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, 18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,he enables me to tread on the heights.

The Church of the Holy Cheddar

Chuck E. Cheese Church

corqu, cweaver, Dang! I’m going to have to get up earlier than both you guys to get the good ones…and that was pretty good too, General.

But than I’m allergic to cheese. Blessed are the sneezemakers.“Much flavor cheese has.” .Yogurt

Enough cheesy religions out there to more than justify a religion for cheese. I’m game!

After all this, I think I will state what Rat might.I’d rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.Maybe Stephan would say that. Hmmmm.

All hail the cheese!!! Cheddar be praise!!!

“Church of the Souffle’”……….Church of Cheese (Reformed)

Sure they do. Look at the huge anti-science movements abroad in the land.

Did you know there is a Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

I don’t care if it rains or freezes,Long as I got my wines and cheeses,sitting on the dashboard of my car.

“… You’d never use faith to decide anything really important, like when to cross the street or where to send the kids to college or what house to buy.” You’ve got it backwards. Any questions that can be answered by logic and evidence alone are ultimately trivial in any but the most one-dimensional, simple-minded sense. (You still need the right answers, of course. But once you have them, are you permanently changed into a better person?).“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Notice what this is saying: faith exists only because of the reality of what is hoped for and not seen. Faith, in other words, is a gift. Or as it was put elsewhere: “It was not that I understood and then I believed, but rather that I believed and then I understood.”.People who knock faith as unimportant in “real” decision-making ignore the simple fact that most of what you cheerfully think you know, you’ve taken on faith from other people whom you judge trustworthy. That’s not religion, bub — it’s reality. Five minutes of honest thought will show you just how real it is.

But try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.

Oops. Sorry, didn’t mean to copy you there!

“Everyone has to believe in something.I believe I’ll have another beer.”

Pretty offensive!

The Church of Cheese. We hope you be come a “regular” congregant.

Let’s go with the cheesy church. No one ever tortured anyone to death over cheese. No one killed someone else because he liked a different cheese. No one used cheese to justify murder. I’ve never heard of anyone using cheese to lure young boys into sex with men. No one ever fought a war over the difference between Cheddar and Wensleydale. The Swiss is even holey. There’s still no evil in the Garden of Edam. Cheese turns corruption into goodness. And we still get to eat the crackers and a nice dry wine. In fact, if you think about things that are without sin, cheese is pretty well up there in the list. So pray to Gouda and Cheeses and the Holy Ghetost.

Cheeses loves me, yes I know………

Ah, but what KIND of cheese??? (Wrong answers can result in religious wars.)

I agree. And the church of cheese.

He should build it in Wisconsin…

Faith is believing in something – as long as you believe in the same thing as “me” its ok, but otherwise not.

Swiss cheese is very holy

Awwwwwwwww.

Cute!

LOL xxx

heh heh.. faith is believing in things without proof.

faith is pretending to believe stuff so that you can tell lies convincingly enough to get others to believe them.

faith is leaving your ring dings in the frig and expecting them to be there when you get back.

Swiss is HOLY cheese isn’t it?

and blessed be the cheesemakers…. ..ehh? what did he say? cheesemakers?

Bring unto me your cheeses, and I will separate the sheep from the goat and the cow from the buffalo. Bring not unto me butter, neither tanning nor duck, for they are abominations in my sight. But bring me all true cheeses, and I will grate them, keeping but a tithe, forsaking all Velveeta, Whiz, and all other false cheeses that are also abominations and unnatural things. And when thou dost come upon a man who knoweth not cheese, giveth cheese unto him so that he may know it and be constipated with the faithful also, and so that when he is tested by great deceiver, Cheeto, he may remain truly cheesy and fall not into error and lose his whey but gain his eternal place on the great cheeseboard. In nomini queso quesadilla acadero et pecorino romano.

Roquefort ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee…

I was wondering how long it took someone to use that line. ;)

What about Cheesepuffology?

“CHEEZUS SLICE!” “LET’S CUT THE CHEDDAR!” “NO, NO, LET’S JUST CUT THE CHEESE ALTOGETHER!!!”

…uh, no comment.

He doesn’t need to build one. Just go to the Cheese Castle on Rt. 94 in Wisconsin.

Make sure you use swiss cheese because it’s “holey.”

Darn—you beat me to it.

But, I figured SOMEONE would have by now.

The difficulty is to be spiritual without being religious.

Swiss is the only true religion. Do not be deceived by the cheddar heretics!

Notice the cheesy change in point of view.

I was going to say to make it swiss, for all that is holey, but then saw two others beat me to the same obvious pun. I always log in too late :)

Sure am grateful my next door neighbor doesn’t drive his porch; just sits on it once in awhile.

Whaddya mean, cheese is dependable, Pig? It’s no Goulda!

As I head out today to the California Artisan Cheese Festival, this is perfect – inspirational in fact

GOD BLESS THE CHEESE MAKERS!

Wow. Cheese is so faithful to you Pig, yet you eat it and betray it. Amazing.

Talk to the people about cheeses.

Cheese church! Cheese church! (I love that arc)

The Church of the Holy Cheeses?!