Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for August 28, 2024

Don’t go there…don’t go there….

At long last this strip comes with a warning label.

How many book signings does this rusthole of a town have every month?

“But I’m doin’ the best that I can…”

Eh it look like books signing the only job peoples is has around here these days. It’s called signing!

If only the sign in front of the church listed next week’s sermon text…Proverbs 16:18.

Look at those smug punims. It’s not PC to quote Woody Allen these days, but as Alvy Singer said in Annie Hall, “What I wouldn’t give for a large sock filled with horse m-n-re.”

I love all the different characters that live in Ed’s world, they add depth to the stories

So. Where’s um, oh – Cranky. Yeah. That’s his name…

“Thanks, it’s hard”…. For the first time in what… 30 years?

‘A big draw’ Batty delivering the goods w/o realizing it

I can’t stand him.

Oh, Lord its hard to be humble, when your perfect in every way.

\\//_

Three days until Sunday!!!!!!

Harry’s ego will be deflated when hardly anyone comes to his table.

Sigh…another awesome ‘book signing’ event….

Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble

when you’re perfect in every way.

I can’t wait to look in the mirror

cause I get better loking each day.

To know me is to love me

I must be a hell of a man.

Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble

but I’m doing the best that I can.

I used to have a girlfriend

but she just couldn’t compete

with all of these love starved women

who keep clamoring at my feet.

Well I prob’ly could find me another

but I guess they’re all in awe of me.

Who cares, I never get lonesome

cause I treasure my own company.

Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble

when you’re perfect in every way,

I can’t wait to look in the mirror

cause I get better looking each day

To know me is to love me

I must be a hell of a man.

Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble

but I’m doing the best that I can.

I guess you could say I’m a loner,

a writer who’s tough and proud.

I could have lots of friends if I want to

but then I wouldn’t stand out from the crowd.

Some folks say that I’m egotistical.

Hell, I don’t even know what that means.

I guess it has something to do with the way that I

fill out my baggy blue jeans.

Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble

when you’re perfect in every way,

I can’t wait to look in the mirror

cause I get better looking each day

To know me is to love me

I must be a hell of a man.

Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble

but I’m doing the best that I can.

We’re doing the best that we can

i think tommy gets all his ideas from early morning mall walkers

Oh yes, having him signing books will be a massive draw. People will be coming from out of state. Who doesn’t want an autographed autobiography of someone who conducts a church choir? Definite best seller. Also curious how Lillian is going to set up for two book signings in her small attic of a bookstore.

A ̶b̶o̶o̶k̶ “author signing”? Wow, how stunningly original. /s

Congrats, Batyuk. Another one of your overused cliché story elements makes it into your shoddy tale. Cross another item off your meager “storyteller” to-do list. Your limitations as a storyteller are showing. Your storytelling is the equivalent of “leftover night.” A little bit from that story arc, a little bit from another. Please come up with something I’ve never seen in your comic strips before. Shock me.

Crank it up, Batyuk. Your “prestige arc” is already getting stale. It’s all Batyuk clichés. Lillian is clueless about technology. Dinkle is full of himself. You like book signings. Move on.

What’s next? Lillian and Dinkle stop off at Montoni’s or the Komix Korner? Dull. Dull. Dull.

Panel 2—he is purposely drawn to look like an egotist

Ish Kabibble was the comic relief in Kay Kyser’s band. He wrote a wonderful memoir, but since there was no scandal in his life none of the major publishers would touch it

This gives us something to look forward to.

What a one-track mind. When Batty was a child, most kids set up lemonade stands. As a child, Batty set up book signing tables.

Passer-by: (scoffing) You didn’t write ‘Treasure Island’.

Batty crosses out Robert Louis Stevenson’s name on the cover and substitutes his own.

Young Batty: (smugly) Who should I make this out to?

Panel #1: Dinkle is the same height as the 102-year-old Lillian? I never realized Mr. Legend-in-His-Own-Mind was so short. LoL

Dinkle’s Jack O’Lantern grin in panel #2 is the stuff of nightmares. That’s one after Halloween pumpkin I wouldn’t mind seeing smashed. Clean-up in panel #2.

So who’s coming? She’ll be there. Then Him. Probably Batton Thomas… So she’s always there. Batton is always at the comics shop. And no one cares about this tool.

It’s times like this I let my mind wander back to the good old days. Remember the wordless strip with the sad cop presenting the football helmet to the widow of the guy who wore it while he committed suicide? Good times… Good times…

Come on, Cranky. Don’t do this.