Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for April 13, 2021

Heh. “Pitches in”.

P2: As summer nears, time for Gil annual haircut. Cut me Mick.

P1 Gilpa and Kaz, share a brain and finish each other’s sentences, the only thing creepier is the high school gym’s huge picture window

P2 …so Zane(y) pitches in and runs numbers for Vito from Goshen and goes to the library to research the whereabouts people who have delinquent accounts with the guy

P3 B****rd! How dare he show up late to a group study and embarrass me.

Are Katy and Zane(y) dating only in her wildest dreams? it doesn’t seem he even cares she’s there

Does Kaz have a barbed wire tattoo on both arms or is that just a scar from a really bad limb reattachment job on the left arm?

P1, With all of Insane Zane’s pitching, he’s bound to blow out his elbow, guaranteeing another second-place finish in The Valley.

P2, And don’t interrupt me again or I’ll make you disappear even longer this time.

P3, Mr. Hand, “Insane Zane, what’s the reason for your truancy?”

IZ, “I just couldn’t make it on time.”

Mr. Hand, “You mean you couldn’t or wouldn’t?”

IZ, “Well, there’s like a full crowd scene at the food line.”

Mr. Hand, “Why do you shamelessly waste my time like this?”

IZ, “I don’t know.”

P2:“There’s also some hashtags, whatever they are: #firegil, #gilsgottago, #butterknifeinGil’sback, are just a few. Thought you should know. I won’t tell you about the nasty graffiti on the walls. Where’s Luhm when you need him? Another smoke break”

So, is Gil playing dumb on things like GoFundMe, or does he really not know? It kind of feels like he’s just teasing Kaz by misstating the name of the site.

P1-…..when former RB Visci worked, he Chipped in.

Can’t wait to see where Brito, the Frito Bandito fits into all this drama

P 2.5: “…so,….let me get this straight….the old man can’t work, the mom has some part time job somewhere, they don’t got a pot to piss in and won’t take charity, yet all this kid does all day is play catch with his brother as ‘therapy’?…no wonder that family is ’effed up…”

Am I the only one who initially thought P1 was a silhouette of Rat from “Pearls before Swine”?

Are we supposed to know who these people are in P3??

“Sorry I’m late, I was working on my memoir, “High-school Hitman: Fund Yourself!”

Here I thought SOFundMe was where people made financial requests to Suze Orman.

At least Zane is only late for class and not for practice.

P2. So I realized that one of my students really needed some help so I half-assed a suggestion that went nowhere and then forgot about him.

Well good for them to refuse the gofundme thing. Please redirect your spare cash to that poor idiot, I mean person, who super glued her hair to her head.

In all reality , after Milford wins the Valley and goes on to State,it’s discovered that Zanie pitched the last 2 seasons for the Milford Mudcats a semi pro team. All of Milford’s wins are forfeited and summer begins.

They wouldn’t hear of the SoFundMe because Zane’s dad started a side business cooking meth during his disability. The money is rolling in but they will need to buy a car wash

P1 – Man, I cannot even guess what the hell Gil is carrying on his shoulders. A bazooka? A body?

P2 – Nice! Even Rubin is in on the Gil developing dementia theory.

P3 – Can’t tell if that’s a regular classroom, a study group/group project, or what. And is that a teacher or a student? Either way, hoochie mama! I’ll be looking for her when I get cleared of my charges and return to the school.

And speaking of returning, it’s time for you to return to Mopped Up Thorp: https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

P2: Kaz: Gofundme. Gil: Shhhh! Not now, later…